I miss looking out my sky-light star gazing,

Surrounded by the warm glow of candlelight,

Long shadows curling up my walls and over me,

Snuggling close, encasing and tucking me in,

While I fell asleep to the flickering light, blazing.


I miss the sound of comfortable silence,

And the familiarity it could bring me,

Without the chaos and turmoil of my family,

Unraveling in delicate daisies and ambiance.


I miss the feeling of burning wispy jasmine,

Watching the thin lines pierce the air clearly,

As white smoke surrounded and encased me,

I felt free as a bird with all it's grace and beauty.


I miss the edge of my bed; the corners of my bookcase,

Each book containing a different piece of my heart,

How I could re-read them, discover new loving parts,

Escaping reality, swept off the road, leaving no trace.


I miss being able to sit in the moment of my first kiss,

Confidence coming from God knows, I reached over,

Stumbling and fumbling in that cold evening in October,

How I was full of naivety, awkwardness and ignorant bliss.


I miss my old CD's and my prehistoric stereo,

The simplicity of changing albums physically,

Singing along to those old emo songs joyously,,

They were my lifeline, more than I'll ever know.


I miss the lock on my door and the clunky key,

The one time I lost it and had to pay for a locksmith,

The chipped corners from my teenage adolescence,

How it kept me locked away- secluded I was free.


I miss the makeshift and haphazardly made carpet,

The memory of my mother laying it over cold cement,

Making do with little money, but still making it *****,

It was my makeshift carpet and one I'd never forget.


I miss my childhood teddy, one that I didn't even name,

How he would fall down in the dead of night suddenly,

Startling! Yet comforting as I hugged him into me warmly,

Despite not knowing his name, I loved him all the same.


I miss my PlayStation Four and all the friends I made,

My best-friends despite only knowing their usernames,

The adventures we went onto together playing games,

"One more game, one more round-Is it 3am? Another raid!"


I miss those childhood sleepovers with my best mates,

Before the labels, the social cliques and exclusivity,

Where we ate pizza, played Pokemon, thought positively,

Before we all drifted apart, to different schools and classmates.

A shout shakes all things
Hovering church overlooks
Judgments reflection.

Trapped.
Engorged in a prison box too small for the swelling of my spiritual rotted flesh.
Given the necrosis of civilizational crumbling had cast it's affect unto me,
I melt in the wading pool of an invisible guard wielding the spear of viral pandemic.
I hold steadfast in my mental capacity.
Only to have the prism of stability rocked by the puncturing of many holes in the hot air balloon that glides through the ice...
I am rocked, shook, and unhinged;
I am the door that sways gently in the breeze to the rocking tides of this astral storm of disease.
All of this chaos in the atoms of my mind's eye...
As I simply lay here.
Trapped.
Engorged in the prison of the mind.
I am my own gatekeeper. A militant simply funded by the fear of the invisible guard.
I blink and sip the coffee, sitting up in the bed.
Shake off the madness, and return to stillness.

A pondering shadow, I see
The time I stop my travels
And settle down, for a glimpse
Of the inside world
The shadow is so tall, tall and dark
Its face, indiscernible
But its eyes, they look at me
With amazement, or pity
I cannot tell
I could never tell
So complicated
So distant
I am trying to understand you, Shadow,
Please, turn on the light, and let me in.

i see her
across the mirror
her golden eyes
staring back at me
she knows what must be done
it’s the end of an era
baggage from the past drags
in between her legs
heartbreak, manipulation,
betrayal, broken promises,
broken dreams, lost innocence,
anxiety, breakdowns, grief, sadness

i see her
across the mirror
my golden eyes
staring back at me
i know what must be done
it’s the end of an era
my body is itching for release
shedding itself free
i won’t claim the lost baggage

He was tired of his whole life
Every breath he took killed him at a time
And each of it felt like a debt on his life,
In the darkness he followed the only source of light,
In the way he collided with himself whom he had lost in a while,
Talked with him for the whole long night,and
Listened that One must strive to find his own voice,
We are not kite that just moves when someone guide,
We need to find a way inside
that connects our heart to the world outside,
Be a maverick and sail against the tide,
Hold your ground and Dont carry the burden of lie,
Nobody should hinder his life just by working to survive
Never deny the passion of your life,
one must not disguise by following other's intent of life,
And the longer you will wait to rise, the far it  would go from your sight.

Are instincts always right
Because they always come for my fright
Hey dear instincts you are my insights
That always are true sights
You are as good as an angel
Like a film's good angle
And as bad as an evil
To show what's trivial
You always ask me not to trust people surround
Because this world's like a spiral ground
But I always leave your voice behind
And trust people as blind
Deep inside I know my plight
But just want to take a flight
For it seems like a prank
Because my life is in trance
You are like my best friend's hand
Just like the Diary of Anne Frank
Are instincts always right
Asking me to have a bite
Of my tranquil looking life
Which seems like a cake walk
But is as hard as rock
Are instincts always right
Will always be my question standing aside...