The voices they whisper,
Insults that they bare;
They scratch at my back,
They pull at my hair.
They dare me to open,
The window and try
And spread out my wings
And see if I fly;
The voices they tell me
That "death is for you",
And I don't respond,
I know that it's true.
They yell and they scream,
"we'll be here forever!"
And even in death,
I'm with the voices...
Together.

I seem to be at home on the margins
where I can be alone
with my folly
sweltering in my private bowl of stew
simmering in the sins
surrounding and piercing me
but you found me there
invited me into your heart
where you loved me
redeemed me
sewed my seams
pulled together my crazy quilt
made separate parts into a whole.

And I know you don't care.
You just know how to transform love into venom.
You whip me with your insanity.
You give me of my own medicine.

How many nights you've been
Turned and tossed in the confines of your sheets
So the lunacy of your nightmares
Won't push you in the world of insanity

Think of life, see the trees.
The struggle quiet but still it’s there.
Tamarac stays green, others are bare,
winters cold , leaves succumbed.
Tops of trees see springs first sun.
Leaves awake and spread their wings.
Tops steal sun from limbs below,
surviving on crumbs that filter down.
The forest floor, void of warmth
produces brambles, thorns and weeds.
The oaks and maples reign supreme.
All others bow before their might.
Different colors, beach, birch, pine
diversity amidst adversity?
Life truly mirrors nature, the haves
and the have nots. Those that have it
keep it or ration it. All at the bottom
struggle to survive.
Those in the middle just exist on
droppings from the haves.
And color, well, nature handles better.
A mind wander, a fantasy of worlds,
a dream of coexistence.
A waste of time...B.

Sometimes I feel the darkness
as it draws itself yet oh so near.
Shrouds of blackest pitch,
Like a shiver of the spine,
caused by a scream I feel but do not hear.

All pervasive gloom
that shrouds my world to never ending black.
Dragging down both soul and sense,
Like a craven remorseless killer
intent on demonic inhuman attack.

I feel it in my body and I sense it
as it encroaches on my mind.
Taking both warmth and light,
Leaving never ending blackness,
devoid of hope of any kind.

At times the will to fight
has been totally taken away.
Rational mind and tired limbs,
Made to give up all reason
to stand and fight for one more day.

I sense an endless wave that drowns me
in utter dark despair.
Kicking through all defence,
Until all will to live yet one more moment,
evaporates into thin air.

The fight is ever daily
and the waves they come and go.
Random depths to which I fall,
How I survive amidst the darkest waves,
I really do not know.

In days gone by the waves have compelled me
to physically react.
More than one failed attempt,
Still I yet remain by fluke,
compounded by the lessons that I lacked.

I know that I have learned
and can push all normal fears aside.
In life we learn from failures,
And it is chance and not hope,
keeps me safe where I now hide.