and that’s when it hit me, like a bullet shooting straight through my skull.

the eyes i once thought had endless depth in them hold nothing but lust as we make eye contact for the first time.

you never loved me
you loved my body
and that i let you lay between my legs

i rip away from you, anger taking over my whole being.

“get out.”

There is a level between friends and dating
The median is a confusing area
You both like each other and you act like you're dating
But you aren't
From what I've discovered it's exactly like dating but without the title
"Talking" to more than more than one person would be bad
But you aren't dating
You get them gifts and maybe even say you love them
But it's just talking
It's like a trial run for the relationship
Because going ahead and having a relationship would be too much

“no,” i beg, latching onto your arm, “please, don’t go.”

you don’t even look at me. this was your fault, and you’re doing, yet i’m begging for you to stay with me.

“i can’t,” you whisper, wiping a tear from my face as you stare at my swollen lips.

“can’t what?” i ask.

“i can’t love you anymore.”

“yes, you can. why wouldn’t you be able to?” i ask, panicked. i try to meet your eyes but you won’t stop staring at my lips. your hands trail down my back and squeeze my hips.

“no, i just don’t love you anymore.”

you come back now, asking why i’m so different. i could answer with over a million reasons but we both know there’s only one.

you sit there, acting like it wasn’t your fault. you took my heart, my mind, and my soul with you that day you left. do you remember that day?

now you sit here, heartless, telling me, “you’ve changed.”

you’re pathetic, i want to whisper. instead i shake my head with a playful smile on my lips.

“i don’t know. i suppose time.”

I did everything for you to notice me.
I did everything so you could spend time with me.

I did everything for you to know there is someone who cares for you.
I did everything so you would know what being loved means.

I did everything for you to know how much i love you.
I did everything because you are my everything.

I did everything while you gave your everything to someone else.

I did  everything but you have your own one
and it is not me.

am i a bad person for thinking
i’m not in love with you?

you love me to the ends of
the earth but i see it now

the pain was too much for
me to handle in the summer

the lies were breaking me
to the dust i’m made of

i want to love you but
how do i love someone

you’ve made it seem like
every love has to hurt

are you a bad person?

i promised myself i wouldnt fall for anyone new
i wasnt supposed to love you,
no especially not you
but now i know you
now ive been with you
and i think its kinda obvious
loving you
is something i wanna do.

12:48 AM
the best thing to happen to me.

(If only you could) step into my heart for just a moment or two, you might be overwhelmed by what I feel for you.

Love, pure and simple. Love that has no end, and longs to hold you near. Now and forever.;
For as long as we are both here.

I want to hold you close
I want to hold your hand
I never want to let you go;
You're the best I've ever had.

I want to protect you
I want to keep you safe
I never want to see you cry;
or feel an ounce of pain.

I want to see you smile
I want to make you laugh
I never want you to wish for something, other than what you have.

I want to give you everything
I want to give you my all
I never want to give you less than anything you want.

Because it's simple
My love for you is pure;
And you are the one
I've waited my whole life for....

i’m sick of it
i’m sick of the pain
i’m sick of waiting
i’m sick of sacrificing
i’m sick of the crying
i’m sick of the lies
i’m sick of your friends
i’m sick of your behavior
i’m sick of it all

the pain is for your satisfaction
the waiting is the patience my mother taught me
the crying is the tears of anger
the lying is for you to get away
the friends influence our relationship
the drugs and alcohol ruin us

the sickness is the end.