Every once in a while
memories come floating by.

I find myself breaking like a fragile glass. Although I sometimes think I'm over us.

And then I ask myself if I'll ever be.
I have to say it sounds impossible to me.
I don't want to hurt you, I'm just keeping it real.

Will I ever be able to love someone again?
Love someone the way I loved you?

I'm not sure if that's only a dream that won't ever come true.

-Tereza Balatkova

And I'm falling and falling,
somewhere I've never been before.

And there's no one who'll catch me, no one at all.

And I'm hurting and hurting...
just that you know,

my heart is bleeding
and my soul is torn.

You knew my heart was never touched before and you let me fall for you, like it was nothing at all.

When you said you don't want to hurt me, that's when I crashed the most,
I heard my heart breaking,
you didn't even hear me mourn.

-Tereza Balatkova

I love you so much,
that much it hurts like hell.

It's killing me,
because I know you don't feel the same.

You don't share the same feelings and thinking about it absolutely tears me apart.

-Tereza Balatkova

I was thinking about what you are to me.
How would I draw you, what would you be.

You'd be a bird.
But not just an ordinary, typical that everyone knows.

You'd be a beautiful,  black bird with three wings and a heart that's torn.

Beautiful because you are.
Your flaws are the most perfect out of all.

Black because you are.
Your eyes, your soul, they own this color the most.

Three winged because you are.
Something new I've discovered for the very first time.

Heart torned because you are.
These people who torn it are gone and I want you to know that I'll try and try until it's whole.

-Tereza Balatkova

when i look at myself in the mirror
i see something blue, something dead-eyed.
she looks at me and sees something more,
something brighter, worth loving

i look at her and i think of the ocean
eternally beautiful, endless depth
sometimes i think i'll drown but
she keeps me afloat, makes me swim

we could spend hours talking
or not speak for a whole day;
no matter the number of words exchanged
not a minute goes by that she isn't on my brain

being with her feels like promise,
like an apology from life
it says, "here, this is your happiness"
i know i don't deserve her but i'll never take her heart for granted

it's been five months
but i already have our one year marked on my calendar
and i can count the days passed
by the number of smiles she gives me

emotion was never my thing
'til an angel dressed in humanity showed me
what feeling could be like,
what love could be like without pain

the clouds are mostly grey in england,
the sky muted by dreary weather
but these days i find myself looking at the flowers instead
and she is sunshine lighting my every step

you're enthralling, the way you captivate me
less than half a year but already
you've changed so many things
you are my most extraordinary experience

you're the constellations in my night sky
and the petals blooming brightly in a once barren garden
you make me see more; you're the pastels lightening my art
there's a spark in me and now i know warmth

if you could only see yourself the way i see you,
life is no longer just grey and blue
i need you to know that i love you
thank you for bringing colour to my world

You don't drive me crazy the way he does
You don't
Make me reckless, obsessed, sleepless
Holding something I thought would slip
But an illusion that was never there

You don't make me beg for your love
Maybe you don't
Ignore all my feelings, hide my heart under my sleeves
Making August January in one blink
Plumbing my heart into nitrogen gas

But You don't know what you did to me
The party your eyes found my figure in the crowd
the hoarse confessions of love,
Besides my ears, hot breaths and strong arms
Holding me tight even when you sleep
Burying your face in my neck, calling it home
Pulls me into the shower against you and kiss me
wet and willing, until I run out of breaths
Dinners and Carafe, collars and leashes.
The way you look at me, eyes full of love.

So if they ask me if you are my type,
whether you make my heart go mad
I would smile and say no
My heart doesn't go mad, because it found home
You are not my type, you are the love of my life

I fallen for a poet,
I feel like I’m going to die,
The way she flatters me,
The way she writes,
The way she smiles,
All draws me in,
Like a moth drawn to a flame,
Please help me,
I don’t think my heart is working right,
It beats too fast,
I sweat too much,
Smile too wide,
All because of you.

I won’t take it back,
I’ll still love you,
It won’t help,
You tied me in like a spider,
Your a virus I can't lose,
So don’t ever untie me,
My head will fall off once you do,
And I don’t think I’ll live the surgery.