eyes of sea
caged wingbeats
the only hint
behind the visage of indifference
the shroud that daylight imposes
and darkness disperses

for beneath lies
pain
desire
whispers of oblivion
desperation
that draws forth tears
mixing sleep and wakefulness

yet
somehow
granting more peace
than the glittering sands

Felt the pretense behind closed eyes,
  composed vibrations of rhetoric              
   freelancing in executing ignis fatuus

drank the kool-aid of your own grandeur
   a punch drunk conviction's onus
   in false pretenses of a  mislead head trip

a study in contradiction's convulsions
    simmered of half past lucid judgement,
   junctures of reality submersed
      in cloudy formations
        impervious to reasoning*

...a saga written upon piqued skies of indifference

Observant, reserved, blank staring face
Vacant eyes, looking into space.
I assure you, you’ve got my attention
you see,
I’ve pegged you out.
Your insecurities, my friend, I can relate
hidden well, I must say.
I should approach you
say “hey, how’s your day?”
sickly, small talk
let me just wait.
Bucking up courage as you passed me by,
my stomach was churning as your eyes met mine.
Kicking myself, I come off as a ****
I swear, I can't say sorry enough for this.
This cold indifference is not my intention.
I'm insecure too; I should have mentioned.

The white squirrel runs free. Outcast for it difference. You know the story, it's all the same. We are all part of a huge unity. Refrain from your judgmental gazes of pain.
Some just want to see the world burn, mutiny of humanity.Release the sophisticated animal within the. for every beast will get its turn.
The white deer in its symbol for purity is hobbling. Sadly our symbols die. lie on barren plans. questioning sanity,insane, Refrain from your judgmental gaze, try to heal the pain.The dog has it's bite, and the bee its sting. the song birds still sing.
I see ******* kindness in a forest of forgotten memories
the vast vivid wilderness of pain, is the same as the one filled with such beautiful things. run free in your unified difference. notice the worlds significance. and all the energy it aims at your brain.

How do I tell her
"My love would be unrequited
so please love me not"

I wish I discovered religion
Like how I accidentally discovered ******
That way I'll be ******* addicted to it

I wish I wasn't made to study religion
But learn about how God loves me
That way, my knowledge for his love
Would supercede the doctrines and rules

I can't be an atheist
But I deeply don't love him like I should
I want to but I don't want to study his love

Anymore.
So religion or nah.

I was the frightened little kid
Who got pushed against the wall.
I wasn’t terribly masculine
Had acne and was not very tall.
Or maybe it was my intelligence
Or artistic talent that drew the ire.
It was an ever-changing list
That drew my fellow student’s fire.

Maybe it was that my game
Was never quite there for sports.
Or maybe when I did not join
On jokes about **** and other sorts
Of woman demeaning quips
They had to have learned at home.
Parental misguidance one oh one
Not learned at school on the roam.

Whatever it was, I got beaten
And locked inside my own locker.
And I got called ***** and ***.
Now isn’t that a big fat shocker?
I got shoved around in hallways
And knocked out cold by a creep.
I didn’t even know the ****
But he decided to put me to sleep.

And when the faculty was called
I was suspended along with the guy.
The school’s policy it seemed
Was to punish both kids. Ask why.
I asked and I was told sternly
That the school really did not care
The attacker and the attacked
Had the same punishment to share.

Now, in this case, the attacker was
Known to be a ruffian and a miscreant.
And I was known to be a wimp.
So why give me unusual punishment
When I was already being punished
For not being some kind of snorting ****?
This was like the school system
Giving my jaw an extra and official sock!

It would be nice to say about this
That it was a totally isolated incident,
And that principals seldom pass out
This officially thoughtless kind of punishment.
But I heard that line so many times
I could have lip-synched right along with him
As the principal mouthed a policy line
From a time grown distant and dangerously dim.

School gym coaches called us girls
If we didn’t keep up with hand-picked brutes
Who enjoyed inherited musculature
And bigot approved physical attributes.
So those of us who were who we were
And could not manage mow down the men
At the line of scrimmages
Were called ‘lils’ and fairies once again.

The answer to blocking out pain from a broken heart is not numbness or indifference.

But that of letting yourself be loved again.