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Silent Sanctuary Apr 2015
A mother's love is supposed to be tender and kind,
But why is yours deadly and frightening?
Don't get me wrong but that's how I feel,
Whenever I hear your steps nearing my room's door.

But let me tell you why I feel this way,
With all due respect to you,
And to whatever you have done to me,
While I have barely lived in this world.

Since I was young, you hated me so dearly.
What did I ever do so wrong?
Was it me being conceived in your womb or something more?
For you treat me just like a trash or a dog.

Fairly, whatever I do is not enough to please you.
I am worthless, pathetic, and stupid as you might utter regularly.
Some say, you aren't just expressive just like the others;
But you are actually expressive, just not in the way expected.

Some days I wonder, am I really your child?
Because I don't feel it in a way I should.
All I have is a sense of physical and emotional suicide.
Yet, constantly waiting for that day when I will be more than nothing.

Your words are as sharp as silver daggers,
Slowly killing and numbing me in this atrocious cynical world.
I usually pretend that I do not care about them but I do care.
They affect me more than they should but what can I do?

You are my dearest mother,
Supposedly someone who gave birth to me to see the world;
Yet I am entrapped by dark clouds torturing me every second,
Only laughing and seeing how I die tragically.

I wrote this letter to you not as a writing for you to change,
But something as a suicide note while I beg for euthanasia.
For I can't bear to cry all night long just for you to tell me I'm dramatic,
Instead of assuring me that everything is going to be safe and alright.

I love you but it brings me pain,
That I can't even feel that I am even your daughter,
Maybe it is actually my fault why this kills me every day,
But it's too late, for I will now say goodbye with tears forever unshed.
Ottar Mar 2015
It has no color, yet it embraces them all, so it is black.
It has no size, yet it does the monstrous, in an attack.
It is not passive, yet massive aggressive, watch your back.
It has no peace, yet it wants the peace on your mind,

Yet there is nothing else to do
Or say
Done, moving on killed that topic
All agreed?
Oh sorry, did you figure it out it evil I was discoursing?
rosemary Mar 2015
"but dont you want to lighten up?"
the tree said to the sun-starved grass
whose cells were white as bone

"not really" sighed the aching grass
"its all ive ever known"
Isabelle Perla Mar 2015
I am a *******
Only it doesn't show on my arm or my wrist
I am an abuser of the heart, the soul.
No other words can describe it - I enjoy the pain of heartbreak.
Do I feel a rush every time you forget about me? Do I go on a high when you put me down? Do I crave the silence, the awkward looks, the indifference?
YES!
Is this pain the only thing my heart will ever witness?
YES!!
You are the pain giver; you cause these wounds
But if I'm a *******, I should be grateful to you.
Sally A Bayan Mar 2015
I
felt
maybe
I had lost
you, the very
same  time  your
messages vanished.
T'was like an O M E N,
that very same time...you
d i s a p p e a r e d,  without
a word. .........How do i tell you,
better i lost you, now...f o r e v e r 
how do i tell you...............never come
back to me----now, later, just stay away 
FOREVER.......Stop these  sLOw   moving 
moments.........I don't need more tormenting 
thoughts................no more strain, no more pain 
for my bleeding....broken heart..........pinned down
lower, by your COLD SILENCE, and INDIFFERENCE.
How do I tell you...............................I'll be fine without you?

Sally

Copyright  2014
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
Seán Mac Falls Feb 2015
Chaste lovers wonder  .  .  .
How bodies weather the cold,                                                                            
  .  .  .  Never knowing touch.
LN Feb 2015
my eyes were never ready for a fleeting sunset
that shone into them with splendour and magic
then drifted away into a far horizon
leaving me with my sombre reflection
the water looked so dark, inky and bleak
and my hands after that were drenched in black ink
i had slammed the pen so ******* this cursed journal
i thought that maybe, everything in my head would collapse with it

you were pretty but it never stopped at that
my name may have tasted like honey but you got sick of it
you got sick of me
you had a way with words that left me weak
all the strength i had culminated through the years stood no chance
like porcelain with intricate designs, fragile, timeless

now who will accompany me in the night
to plant our memories in stars on the sky?
or did you find another one to remind you of the taste of honey
the taste of love
the taste of promise

leave me now with the reality of frowns and uncertainty
leave me with the dark inky waters of a night once spent accompanied
one day i will lay your indifference to rest
but for now
let me throw it out to the horizon, to the sky, to the earth
so it can swallow it to nothingness.
Makenzie Marie Jan 2015
So I watch
And I listen
and I laugh
at the joke the fates have whispered to me.
No one else seems to hear it...
It’s not quite so funny, you see
The pitter patter of the pity...
You can hear it, you see,
you can see it, actually.
“It’s a small thing amongst friends”
a small thing to see in a stranger’s face:
the twinge of sadness,
confusion,
relief for themselves.
They look at me, seeing what they will never be.
They see, though, what could happen, terribly,
1 in 100,
in 1,000,
10,000, maybe.
And so I watch.
And I listen.
As they whisper,
and they wonder,
and they worry.
And I laugh
at the joke that life telling me, mocking at me.
But it’s not quite so funny, you see,
that whispering of the Wonderers
Asking over politely
But never listening intently
I’ll tell them all about it.
it seems such a small thing.
Listen.
It may be bigger than you see.
They say
“you look so healthy…”
Or
“You don’t look sick to me.”
But I’ll smile.
And I’ll laugh
at the joke that life is telling me.
You can’t hear it, darling.
And you don’t want to.
That’s okay.
It must be a joke anyway...
Nope. This is my life.
But what’s the difference either way?
I’ll smile.
I’ll laugh.
And they’ll hear one day.
“one day” will be today.
They will see.
Not just maybe.
I’ll tell them all about it.
And I’ll watch,
and I’ll listen.
The pitter patter will turn to applause.
pity will somehow be praise
and understanding.
such a thing to see in a stranger’s face;
so curious to me.
It’s not so funny you see,
it’s quite serious, actually.
this is the life that has been given to me.
I’ll joke about it, maybe.
but listen,
possibly you’ll see,
**What someone’s living
isn’t always what it appears to be.
Sad faces
Indiscreet dreams
Platitudes and penance.

Secluded thoughts
Glimpses of posterity
Legacies and lotteries.

Tributes to the dead
Blasphemous flowers
Anonymity and indifference.
PrttyBrd Dec 2014
you say it best

                   when you say



                                        nothing at all
10w
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