I am incomplete;
I am coffee without cream.

Without you, I'm only me,
Just a part of a whole.
The puzzle isn't finished,
I am an abandoned goal.

Homework forgotten for TV,
I sit in ever hope,
That you will remember me,
And choose me over the remote.

I'm a painting never finished;
My completion is no rush.
I hope my artist's waiting,
and designing the right brush.

And though you can't agree,
You, sir, are my missing piece.
For I am incomplete;
I am coffee without cream.

October 16th
We lost one of the best people
I ever saw.
My beautiful, sweet, dear
Mother-In-Law.
She loved her children
She introduced them to God.
Constantly smiling
Even though her life was so hard.
"Blood Of Jesus"
Was her favorite thing to say.
She probably said it
100 times a day.
She loved The Lord
She was spiritually touched.
He loved her too
That's why he blessed her so much.
God gave her the Cadillac
That she coveted so.
She shared her blessings with everyone
She never said no.
She gave & gave
Even to people who did her wrong.
Revenge was not in her nature
Because her faith was so strong.
She loved to talk
She always had something to say.
She kept it real with all
Man that woman didn't play.
She was the rock of her family
Her strength kept me in awe.
She was her family's monarch
She was perfect, no flaws.
She was my "California Mommy"
It's so hard being without her.
There's not an hour, minute or second
That I don't think about her.
I know she's in Heaven
Turning Heaven out.
The Lord is happy she's there
I believe that, no doubt.
I look up for her
I hope she's looking down on me.
I want her to know what her loss
Has done to her family.
Her daughter who used to
Always have a smile on her face
Now has sadness in her eyes
& her smile's been replaced
With a slight little frown
Because she misses her Mom
I don't think she gotten over the fact
That her Mother is gone.
We all grieve
In our own little way.
I thought it would get easier
With each passing day.
It hasn't for her daughter
She watched her Mom's health deteriorate.
But her Mom fought to the end
Because her will was so great.
I miss her so much
But I know she's in a better place.
The mark she left in our lives
Could never be erased.
October 16th is a day
That'll stay on my mind.
That's the day
My Mother-In-Law went to Heaven
& left us behind.
I know she's watching over us
I know this for a fact.
There's nothing in the world
I wouldn't do to have her back.
*
I Love You Mother-In-Law
2/3/1956-10/16/2014

A Christmas without snow
Is like a diamond without coal
Incomplete
Nonexistent

How will I end this severe pain,
If I want you to be mine again,
You made me forget my fears,
But you left me hanging in tears.

I know, I'm stupid for letting you feel unwanted,
But I promise boy, you're the only one I wanted.
I'm sorry for not telling you how much I love you,
But believe me, I do.

There's something about you,
that made me hold on so tight;
But I'm afraid because I can't make things right,
Maybe I'm not good enough, not good enough anymore;

I know you're not coming back,
And I should be okay with that,
Don't worry, I'll be okay.
Even though you're away...

the music filling my ears,
with melodies nobody wants to hear
crescendos intensifying the sound and emotion
the lows, the highs, setting the tone
a story is told
beginning, middle, and end
different interpretations, but everyone has the same understanding
deep in their gut they know,
it was tragic-
the last note got cut-off, a cliff hanger
an incomplete symphony,
unfinished poetry
we'll never find the truth.

I sway from side to side. Floating, hovering above the ground. My heart beat is starting to slow down. My vision fades subtly. My eyes feel like they're going to pop out of my head. The cold leather coiled around my throat, starts to chafe my skin. No feeling of air inside my lungs. Not breathing feels comfortable, it feels right. It feels peaceful. My mind casually slips away from me. Sweet serenity graces me with a final kiss I've been waiting for. Black. Everything is so fuzzy, and so shifty. I can't see straight. I collect the fragments of my mind. Above me hangs the remains of my neuse, frayed and torn. I lay on the floor. Unbelieving at this sight. This attempt has failed. Hopefully the next won't.