I... I find pleasure in knowledge.

But I admire your ignorance too.

I erased all the words about him
yes, removed completely from my works
because shame is all I feel when I look back
a guilt so heavy and repressed
so quieted and tucked away
I pledge to myself I must never mention it
and vow to try and rid the wicked from my mind
mistakes I’ve made and made again
sorrows so burdensome that I not even look
that myself, so ignorant and blind
dare toss away a future for a moment
I shudder at my folly
I wonder why I was so blind then
so swept up in a great faux pas
how naive I was! how childlike and gullible
this I must confess

I stared in front of me, at a peculiar object that had no formality.
It was a bland wall, had no opening, nor space, just blank.
It was oddly amusing, trying to foresee beyond it, trying to see what could be the meaning behind it.
The wall had no writing, or drawings, no patterns, or carvings.
Staring blindly, I couldn't see.
"Change your perception, use a different sense"
The voice said.
Pressing my hands against it, resting my forehead on it, and closing my eyes.

I felt it

I heard the banging, the screaming, the blood spattering, the squealing, the gasping, the echos, the sounds crying out for help.
I heard the knife slashing and gun shooting, I heard it all.
I suddenly felt something jolt through my body, like an electric shock.
I landed hard, back first on the ground.
Losing consciousness...

I saw it

I saw everything. EVERYTHING.

Waking up in a blanked out terror, I finally understood it.
It was me, in the form of my subconscious.
A metaphor of the desperate plead, cries, and help I call out to those that I love.
But, silent echos cannot whisper in the dark, and my voice cannot be heard.
SO, I suffer more, all by myself.

Yes, You can see the wall, but, if you choose not to listen to it, you won't see what's behind it, on the other side.
You choose to be misunderstanding.
You choose to be ignorant, and brain washed by lies.
But, if you actually took your own time and tried to feel the wall without any fear, maybe, just maybe, you would truly understand.

So, I stare at this bland wall, has no opening, no space.
But when I heard and saw what was on the other side, my perception changed.

some people were born to face more pain than all of the others combined
a stroke of luck or a generational curse
but don't assume my sensitivity adds up to a lack of strength
you touch me like I'm glass- like I may fall apart at any given moment
but I am not a mess for you to clean
I'm strong because the world has broken me more times than I could count
and I still approach love with the kind of vulnerability some may call ignorant
but I am not naive for believing in something so pure my scars won't make a difference
I am simply learning how to **** out those not meant for me

chug coffee like a caffeinated punch to your nervous system,
music too loud to sleep.

smash the cement and level the buildings,
boots too heavy to hit the ground lightly.

silence chauvinists with your *******,
anger too tangible to be ignored.

drop out, drop bombs, wear red lipstick,
moments too few to waste.

I, as a serpent, constrict a saw blade to save myself from the danger it threatens me with. Dying from blood loss as I constrict the blade I am filled with new wisdom on a subject I was completely ignorant, until now when it’s too late for the wisdom to be any use to me. The sky is myne to be free. Like a moth I chase after the light in the dark and crave to be in its presence. When day comes and light is in abundance I lose interest and hide away until it lacks once again. I ignore the stars beaming down on me as I chase artificial light. The tears of the stars fall down and become filtered by the clouds then rain down on me. They throw me down and take me to the wildflowers. The beauty hypnotizes me and I get lost there. There is where I will die of ignorance.
END

LOOK look!
It's not like I like you,
I feel moved when I see you.
Maybe it's because you're cute.....
But it's cool cause I don't have any intentions of getting close to you.
We are not meant to be so I'll just take my leave.
Our path in this world is different.
That's just how it's meant to be.
Even though you didn't pay me no mind, I acted like I didn't feel down.
I cried but not when you were there.
It felt good acting perfectly fine around you thinking your feelings will one day change.
It hurts that you are happy without me even though I crave for your attention badly.
I envy the way you are happy without me...
I try to be unresisting .
Ha....
You passed me by and gave me chills but you didn't feel anything.
I feel so bad for my foolish heart that won't wish you the best because I don't want to let you go.
Again.....
It's not like I like you.
I'm just moved by your groove....