I have grown up in the same house most of my life
15 years ago I stood on the pavement of my driveway
Learning how to hula hoop for the first time
Meeting my next door neighbors

15 years later I stand on the pavement looking down
I can't help but think how much it saw
How many people have walked on it
Friends, family, acquaintances, random handymen, or FedEx people

I wonder how many heartbreaks its seen
How many tears have been shed
How many skinned knees have happened

Today I stood on the pavement and wondered how many more heartbreaks
people
tears
skinned knees it has left to see

How many more years this pavement would have with me
With my family

I stood on this pavement wondering how the time was ticking
How this pavement has maybe 5 years left with me

*With the footsteps of my family.

Flow in a long stream,
I fall into a deep dream.
Waving smoke with rosy glow,
Lightly red the bamboo grove;
In the brilliant gloam,
I see some fire worms,
They shine, they light,
Cross the field, through the hill,
Finally sit on a farmer’s hat;
The man stumbles along the track,
Husky and a little laze,
His distant voice echoes around:
“Go back home—Go back home—”

I wake suddenly with a start,
The city lives fast still tonight,
A sea of neon, reflect in my eyes;
The world is glossy, but mine is clumsy;
I just hope, not to be shoved forward.
And the time I look back,
My hometown will just be there;
And the time I listen for,
The distant echoes will just be here:
“Go back home—Go back home—”
Linger round with no end.

All I can remember is that time in Wal-Mart
when your older sister came to me and asked:
“Is it true that Payton went to the ****** bin?”

I wonder where she heard that lie and how many
more were threaded among Honesdale locals,
weaved into their perceptions of my family--

their shoulders betrayed them when they turned
away as if we were the diseased ones rotting
inside-out--maybe we were, in a way--but at least

swallowing all this salt healed our wounds
faster than your actions would fade from memory.
I punched you the day I found out even as you

scoffed, laughed, you hadn’t ever taken me seriously.
At 17, I had learned not many people would--but
my revenge came after I moved three hours south,

when your father died of cancer, your best friend
crashed your mother’s car, your sister fled
all the way to England to escape the mistakes

eating at her shadow, and I got out of our hellish
town. You became rooted among manure, ***-
holes too deep to outgrow--I’m sure you’re choking

on worms by now. And when I finally reach
the lofty sky, I’ll hold the sun between green hands.
I’ll hide its light and warmth from you.

Give me another sweetwater afternoon
That tastes of onion grass and birth
And doesn’t care where you take a leak,
Give me the safe and warm provincial air
Coming from the west like a beggar
on a box car,
Give me the humidity that blots out the June-day sun
While we think ***** thoughts
On my couch,
Give me the opportunity to exchange blows with Johnny Rebel up the street
And his grandday’s probably rolling
In his grave,
Give me the hicks I rolled with for laughs before they married too early
So they can ride around on bikes with me
Like we did when the world was ours,
Give me a couple more days in the acrid Juniata
So I can dive in its sloppy green body
With reckless abandon,
Give me fishhooks in my heel
So I can pull them from my nakedness
And get Amish-made whoopee pies after the tears stop,
Give me moss covered roofs and tons of **** in the backyard
And the idle lap of water beneath the trout-boat’s belly
While I tell myself I’m not a redneck to my sunburned chest and my open flannel.

A gathering of familiar faces,
better left forgotten.
We're all still in the same places,
drinking ourselves rotten.

polar lights
flashing before my eyes
sometimes I wonder what could it be
if we had to leave this town
we will never get to see those polar lights
again

but why would we leave
the place where we both grew up
where we lost ourselves in self-redemption
where we first started to love

oh, but when
did they gave us the right to choose
between staying or leaving?

I will miss everything

Walking around Widener bookstore
   Brown bag 40oz in grip on the first floor
Hurricane
my life and future funneled life a twister whimsical whirlwind
down the hatch guzzle guzzle. Oh, Christie! How are you!? can you see I am a mess? I know Youtell my Chinese girlfriend from our study abroad you saw me a mess in the bookstore. SHe is now heartbroken in chongquing. see ah ha
later im just returning books to get dope money.
LAter

Oh, I see you are stocking that Stranger Camus
Langston Hughes
English 102
I drift in my own “end of summers night”
still dreamin’
still falllin’
   Dropping, stumbling, the house of German exchange professors
   Sequestered on speed *****
Welcome to Chester

Corpse exquisite
  the Bride resides in physics-compartmentalized-drawers
  hiding refuge from the storm

He was Alone

                             ( Most of the time he got weirded out easily)

I come from South of the border,
just South of Portland with a little West bend
not from the hills of the academic and domestic
Wake up at 1P, M in the morning
ash under my nails smelling errl in my nose hairs
"Hey do you think I could *** a smoke, bro?"
Sure my man I got a spare so don't fret, but I'm not a bro, though"
"For real?"
**** man, I run into you every day do I really have to do this every day?

Life like the industrial companies lining my streets
press and press and I press and I do it all again
but every step might not go forward, I keep
sayin I don't have the reserve to go on like this,
this ****'s burnin me before progress,
can I just make a little bit?
"No," says me, "but maybe you can next time."
Can I get out of bed at least?
"You know the rules," says me, "get to the car and the engine's running."
But man there's a lot of broken glass down there,
painful, diamond shards trailing in with the past down there.
Is this fair?
Okay, don't answer that.

Not raised by a ****-head, thank god, but neglected,
but kept safe in a home offering protection
Mother's broke and mi papi es a ghost
left to my lonesome devilish devices
look it's a **** **** with vicious collection
of debt and death-draw bridged in prevention by vices
smoke till I choke, kid, smoke while I toast
"I became someone so why couldn't you, too?"
****, kid, I just want to see the weekend,
Just want to see tomorrow,
Just want to wake up sometime

Small town ignorance is buried deep within the skull
Generational behavior passed on from father to son
To daughter from mom

Weak willed sublimation of their identity
Stealing the unlimited possibilities
With beer, ***, and stupidity parading as the news

Rich people using the confusion to abuse
Factions united under bland statements of false unity
Corporate art dulled down to distract me
The facts you see aren’t reality
But society selling insanity

Vanity instead of depths
Sheep instead of blazing suns
This is where I came from
But I know they are more than that

Under that John Deer cap
Is a potential surpassing their current fashion
Worse than a scarlet letter
Yes passion perceived the secrets we see
Cut close to the essence of our being
Humanity enlightened not frightened
By our blazing dreams

I can see what is and what might be
And though the now and past pain me deeply
That possibility for a better future sustains
What remains of my waning sanity

Everything comes back to your hometown
You go to college looking for a fresh start
But you know everything about you still gets around
In college who do you go to first, your high school friends
Go to college in the same state
And nothing ever ends
You stay where you are comfortable
Because in an environment with strangers you look for the familiar faces
Seeing a piece of home in crowd places
A sense of relief over flows
You don't need to stress to impress them
They have seen you at your low
Unlike these strangers that surround you
Soon enough you'll feel like you're living in a zoo
And the first person you will turn to will be from your hometown
The last person you'll end up with will be from your hometown
The person you will be with forever will be from your hometown