Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Saint Audrey Jun 2017
A holy pilgrim downtrodden
I once saw the face
A goal clear, a path to take
No fear
No hope of fame

But never felt better

Now
Every single breath i take is leaving me sedated
I know just what home i'm looking for
And i know just how to make it
Mix up life, ****** up this time
But living isn't going to save it

Out of hate, white hot embrace
There's something here to entertain me
Finding time to reconcile
Dripping good will through an iv
A passive medication to alleviate the vile

New crime wave
Time to turn around
Its far too late
To take the fathers crown
A symbol of atrophy
Status reanimate in head space
Living through the air waves

God knows that its far too late

Decrepit in the negative
And that's the way you'll find me
Dead inside or otherwise
Becoming like a zombie
Staring at a color or
Listen for a note
To hit upon a heart-string
Played out, made up like an over coat

We live between the times
The time is stated
Above the waking world
Come guess what thread i'll next unwind
Hanging in the vacuum of a fragile state of mind

I am lonely
Yeah

It's fine.
Kinda funny.
Benji James Jun 2017
2004 I discovered
I could write
All the emotions I felt inside
That's when the lyrics
Just started to flow
But it started out slow
2011 I was on top of my game
2014 I took a break
2015 I lost pretty much everything
Guess that means
2016 I have to start over again

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

Stop pretending you care
When I know you don't
I see through your lies
Nobody here can
Make me change my mind
I've seen a dark world
Through these eyes
Thought I could ignite the world with love
Should have given up from the start

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

I've tried coming to grips
With the things that I think
I can't let this brain keep running
It drives me deeper into the ground
I'm better off when I'm not around
Eternal sleep that's for me
I said it before and I'll say it again
I've taken my vows
It's time to let these lights go out

I used to **** this lyrical ****
Now I can't be bothered
with any of it
In fact, I don't even care about life
I'm sick of all these fake smiles
I'm tired of feeling alone
I'm sick of trying to move on

I'm done with this
Feeling like ****
Trying to get better
That's not working
Trying to find reasons to live
I'm done looking for it
You can't give me a reason to stay
Pass me the blade
It's time to fade away

©2017 Written By Benji James
Zero Nine Jun 2017
Move. Shift. Effortless.
Leave. Return. Don't.
Return.

Hollow.
Where the love was grown.
Dejected earth.

Cry. Wallow. Fatigued.
Return or Don't.
Return.

The flora found the trashcan.

Have your empty earth.
4 of 4

thanks for reading.
love ya'll
AD Snail Jun 2017
Empty once again,
Drinking nor eating is enough,
The void soon consumes me whole.

I am used to being half empty or half full.

I keep trying to hold onto my old chips;
All the old information on how I used to tick.

Taking the medication will never get back all the pieces I need,
But I think they all disagree because they keep saying:
"Give him the medicine" They'll say,
Because that's what messed up disappointments get.

Cannot halt the isolation that consumes all of me,
The emptiness has already won,
Now its just the waiting game.

Sooner or later all will find out, I am far too gone.

Daddy and mommy told me,
"Don't be so idiotic,"
So I kept all the strange behavior to myself just for them.  

I'm too far gone, but that's okay,
"I'll get better someday," That's what my therapist says anyways,
So I put it on loop inside of my hollow spaced mind,
And maybe it'll become true someday.
Hollow Jun 2017
Got the call before noon.
I can't believe this news.
Jerry, you're gone.
I can't believe this news.
My nephews and sister left all alone.
I can't believe this news.
I can't process.
I can't.
How could this happen?
It is too soon for God to need you.
My sister needs you.
Johann needs you.
Jaben needs you.
I'm so sad.
You're gone.
This has to be a joke.
What a cruel cruel joke.
I need time to process.
I need this to sink in.
I need. I need.
060817
Hollow Jun 2017
Stranded in the abyss between dreams and reality.
An unhealthy position for me to put myself in.
But as I open my eyes and focus on the picture, I realize I'm right where I need to be.
Alone, Stranded, and Hungry.
I strive to become someone who has never known hunger.
I strive to become someone who can fly away as she pleases.
I strive to become someone who fills herself with her own company.
I strive.
I strive.
As I strive to become who I wish to be.
I learn.
And I learn to become every part of me that has been hiding in the shadows for the last couple dozen years.
That's a long time to forget those parts of you.
And they come back without hesitation.
060617
Hollow Jun 2017
Awake and a little bothered.
It's okay though.
I'm not that sober.
The usual routine.
Crush. Roll. Light.
It's my best past time.
One of my favorite outlets.
Forgetting to turn off the buzzer.
Remembering it's all in your head.
Being awakened with a reminder.
A reminder needeth be remembered.


Pause.


Don't forget to breath.


Okay.
060517
Hollow Jun 2017
Darkness envelopes the thoughts of carefree living.
Darkness sets in and we turn to the light.
Don't worry it's taken years to reach this point.
Each battle leading us higher, I can see over the clouds.
Each battle pushing us further below, don't think there's a way out.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Forget the contradictory remarks and thoughts intended to belittle.
Belittle, what?
Belittle the heart.
Does this sound familiar to you?
Thoughts racing like the beat of a drum, droplets of sweat present to accompany the stress.
Hide yourself, they'll never know.
Keep eye contact, they'll never know.
Keep nodding yes, they'll never know.
Does this sound familiar to you?
053117
Àŧùl May 2017
There are few bottlebrush trees here,
A couple grew in front of our house,
The entrance to our house they guard.

When it is season for them,
They bloom very lavishly,
Even striking is one's stem.

It was pecked upon by a woodpecker,
Thak-Thak-Thak, Thak-Thak-Thak,
The stem's bark finally gave away slowly.

By the end of October '06,
The hollow was readied,
The woodpecker moved in.

It gave shelter to the two birds initially,
The male & the female woodpeckers,
They stayed there for a complete season.

Saw their family grow,
From just the parents,
It even had chicks now.

The chicks grew fast under parental care,
I even listened to their infant chirping,
Saw the parents flying to get forage not so rare.

Then one day a snake slithered,
Until that hollow, it climbed,
The woodpeckers made a lot of noise.

They both screeched repeatedly,
But their cries were useless,
They could not scare away the snake.

The serpent then came out after few hours,
Now the crawling was sluggishly lazy,
Its mouth smeared with gooey young feathers.

The family had been destroyed,
An eerie silence shrouded the hollow,
The woodpecker chicks were dead.

Soon, an eagle had hunted the snake,
Hovering in the sky it spotted it,
Grabbed it when in the sunlight it basked.

Now the woodpeckers were gone,
Probably in search of a new tree,
A new tree where a snake won't come.

As for the tree's hollow,
It made a new home,
For a parrot species this time.

And time knows that change will descend,
Even the parrots will desert the hollow,
They will leave in search of the better greens.

Maybe a family of owls will come in the end,
It will be a long-time home, the hollow,
For owls are known to fill all the vacancies.
We live in a research institute campus since my infancy where I have been always so close to mother nature and I can chronicle the various avian species spotted here.

I guess that's life.

Give and take.

Like the birds in the hollow provide the tree with nutrients through their droppings.

But I wonder when I will be rewarded for my share of the good deeds done in life.

Karma is a *****.

My HP Poem #1526
©Atul Kaushal
apollota Apr 2017
Inside a head that lays on red pillows
are thoughts of chaos.
Old and new, bright and dark.
And when hollow eyes look at
bland ceilings under soft moonlight,
the chaos gets a little neater.
2017-04-29
Next page