I fall from grace
upon jagged lands
and demand to be
the center of attention
Yet an overwhelming need for self evaluation
causes me to close my eyes,
shut doors I've just opened,
and breathe in the stale air of loneliness
I really am better in your dreams
Flickering on and off like a kerosene lit lamp,
I waver in the dark,
awaiting the verdict I've already given myself.
The pendulum swings back and forth,
toying with my frayed emotions,
Ripping away the little remaining sanity I have.
No matter the outcome,
I am destined to run from both sides of the coin
As I have found my solace nowhere and, yet, everywhere
I stand split between here and there
watching the world as it spins around me.
I once made decisions solely based on you:
On your needs
Now I no longer move in any direction.
Not because my voice can't echo off tall ceilings,
But because I truly don't care if you can hear me anymore.
Sometimes the stagnant quiet is louder than anything I ever could have said
I stopped recognizing my own face in mirrors
and started seeing the burn of fire
that comes with being hurt one too many times
Maybe I like the fire too much
Maybe I like the heat
But I truly don't like you anymore
There's a chaos to her beauty
that falls like fire from the sky
and burns her unassuming victims.
It turns the unaware
into lovers of mayhem.
She is irresistible.
My heart flies toward the earth
Not the sky
I need a tangible surface to cling to
I run through the fields
I sit in the dirt
I call this place home
Yet I am surrounded by strangers
A cloying heat chokes me where I stand
and I am reminded of those carefree summer nights that were filled with honeysuckle breezes and lightening bug paths.
My mind rages with the past and the present,
Forced to meld the two into my reality.
The sun seems harsher now
that I've lost my rose tinted glasses.