Twenty nine times I said I loved you
Twenty nine times I said I cared
Twenty nine days I waited
Just for you to reappear

From the dark depths
That calls you home
An everlasting engulfment
That I could never know

Twenty nine dots
We counted everyone
Twenty nine reasons
You wish they were all gone

I wish I could have been your savior
I wish I could have been the one
That could show you beautiful mercy
From a life that has gone all wrong

Twenty nine day dreams
Of your beauty and love
And that you would come back
And hold me in your black-veined arms

Don't be so quiet
Please don't you hide
Twenty nine days of solitude
For both you and I

My day dreams turned nightmares
Of how you could be there
On the floor of your bedroom
Eyes glazed and mouth open

Twenty nine needles spoke vicious lies

your energy competes with mine,
a battle just to feel alive.
i know that i can't beat you,
so i only live to please you.
you cast away my sorrows
you numb all of my pain
they say i have everything to lose
but there is nothing for me to gain
you're my only support,
yet they say you tear me down.
i've been told to look forward,
but i like this view from the ground.
i seek you in the shadows,
constant struggle, endless fight.
and every time i find you,
they rush to turn on the light.
i smile at the thought of you
dancing in my veins,
my body is just a vessel,
you are my soul, my heart, my brains.
you let me be myself
though i don't know who that is.
i've lost track of who is using who--
but that is half the bliss.
i lean my head back,
let the world drip, and melt, and shatter.
i can't remember-- what is reality?
i suppose it doesn't matter.
you made me trust that you would join me
in the depths of my despair.
but lately it seems like you dragged me,
like i wasn't already there.

I walk down a broken street in search of my Promised Land,
I'm on a mission from God and my God's name is ******.
In the distance I can hear the gunfire,
I'm in a holy war, my sergeant’s named desire.
I walk past other junkies nodding out against a wall,
We're fighting the same cause, fighting against withdrawal.
I reach my destination, I talk with the man,
I hand him twenty dollars, he puts my God in my hand.
****** you must be God for everything I do is for you,
I'd crawl ten miles on broken glass for you.
I'd sell my soul, my family and friends for you,
If you asked me to sell myself, I'd do that too,
You can see I'm truly nothing, nothing without you.
But if you’re really God, you leave me confused,
At times I feel like I've really been used.
You leave me shivering when it's not really cold,
Unable to walk and I'm not even old.
You leave me penniless when I'm not even poor,
You leave me feeling beaten, aching and sore.
You take away my pride, my looks and my health,
Make me lie to my family, my friends and myself.
Although for you I have dedicated my life,
What have you done for me except stabbed me with a knife?
I look in the mirror at my own bloodshot eyes,
I stare at a man whose world is all lies.
I think about my past and start to realize,
You’re not a God at all, but the Devil in disguise.

****** addicts are funny not because they do ******
but because they lay on beds in every angle but normal.

He retreats into his home, and
Now his ritual's begun,
He briefly questions his decisions, and
The person he's become.

Now he brings to birth, an orange flame
Beneath a tarnished silver spoon.
His eyes fixate on glints of light,
Which penetrate his living room, and
Flood into his windows, from the
Autumn evening's harvest moon, and

He looks down into the spoon, he
Smiles, and gives a simple nod, and
Now with unremitting reverence, he is
Praying to his God, and begging:

"Sanctify me, rectify me,
"Tranquilize, mesmerize me,
"Pacify me, O' great master, so
"That I might know thy peace, and
"Fill me with intrigue, pon which,
"My famished soul might feast!"

"Won't you please..."

"Light my darkness?
"Stoke my flame?
"Calm my mind and
"Heal my pain?

"Dry my weary,
"Weeping eyes, and
"Grant my heart, to
"Feel again?"

"If only for a moment,
"Let me know that
"I'm still live! and

"Fill me with your beauty,
"That of which, I'm so deprived!"

Now, he draws up with his needle,
The cold steel then tears a hole,
He feels relief, that within seconds,
He will once again be whole.

Back he pulls, as crimson stains the walls
He pushes in, and back he falls,
Into the velvet wonderland, of
Blankets on his bed.

His prayer indeed, was not refused
He feels fulfilled, he is renewed,
Well, at least until tomorrow's
Vicious cycle starts anew.

Take my advice,
always think twice
before you let in the devil
and give in to vice.