When Life's darkest clouds gather over me,
I seek shelter from impending storms;
Curtains are drawn closed, all the doors secured ---
And soon Life's grotesque profile transforms

Darkness spreads its arms like a faithful friend,
Offering comfort and asylum here;
(I'd rather not see what lurks in the light --
What we can't see we tend not to fear)

In my solitude, peace and harmony
Join to banish thoughts of bitterness;
Soon yesterday's pains fade and slip away ---
Precious gift of sweet Forgetfulness!

And should the anguish prove unbearable
My beleaguered soul succumbs to prayer;
Please, don't pity me . . . I've been here before . . .
Misery always seeks its darkest lair

But I find that Time, with its healing hands
Soothes and calms the tempests of the mind,
And from my shelter I emerge, renewed,
Leaving Life's most loathsome hours behind

It's been a month since I've cut my hair short
And in another month, I'll cut it again,
and the next month, another inch,
and more inch, and more inch...
As it tries to grow longer, I'll stop it there.
I'll chop it, if it tries to go past my shoulder.
And by December, I'll have a hair and body you have never touched, ever.
And by January, I'll be a brand new person
yet someone you'll never forget forever.

The little girl in me feels neglected.

I guess, til now, I never truly reflected
Never really understood
How parents like you didn’t do all that you could
To ensure I felt safe and secure
To keep my innocence pure.

You allowed me to witness
All of your recklessness.
I find it awfully selfish
That you claim to have been helpless.

I needed you at your best
You gave me 50% and gave everyone else the rest.

Now I’m grown and I have to pick up
The shattered pieces of my heart
And tear my toxic thoughts and habits apart.

While I’m healing and in recovery,
I make sure to show much love to the little girl in me.

If only I could summon the will to banish my daemons;
Exorcise the rot that for too long has brought me low;
Waged a war unseen and unheard by the outside;
Inside, a mutinous cacophony of a ****** battlefield;
Where the parts of me unfouled by corruption, weep;
Tears of crimson blood run down as flowing rivers rage;
Anger, that the current refuses to change its course;
Sadness, that I was the one who had diverted destiny;
Swept away by tides no mortal man can hope to shake;
Trapped, like mighty Atlas, beneath the weight of fate;
An unfortunate purgatory of endless indecision;
A fear to see myself beyond the scars I have caused;
Calloused, my pessimism knows no boundaries;
There can be no going back to brighter days;
When days are comparable only to the blackest night;
Sunrises carry the gravitas of the setting sun, reversed;
Life, loses the beauty that once inspired the muse;
Leaving me feeling empty, lost on 'oft forgotten seas;
Praying for Charybdis to churn and drown my daemons;
Finally setting me free from this self imposed slavery;
Shattering the chains holding my past to my present

They say time heals
All wounds,

And I'd like to
Think the saying is
True,

But there are days
My heart beats,

Until the very last
Beat makes a sound.

And here I am,
Once again,
Wanting to drown.

It seems life
Is relentless,

And I just want
To end this, because
Pain is endless.

Nothing goes my way,
And in a way,

I know deep down,
It's going to
Be okay.

It may not get better
Right at this moment,

But I know heartache
Won't last forever.

I can stay stuck
In the past,
And reminisce,

Or move forward, and let
It all coalesce,

And choose to merge
The past with
The future,

And do my
Best not to regress.

you open the wounds I’ve sewn together
I barely realize until I find myself bleeding
drip drip drip
you clean it up and we’re back to like it never happened.