simply put: i feel like people hate me.
it's this paranoia that i can't talk about with people because they won't understand.
they won't understand the way my lungs feel like they're on fire, and the way that my throat feels tight as though a noose is wrapped around it. they won't understand the way i try to stay as quiet as possible, try not to make a peep. try not to cough, try not to sigh, not a peep.
i am good at keeping quiet even though i am full of words. i don't speak because nobody cares enough to listen anyway. i wouldn't want to waste anyone else's time.
simply put: i wish i was happy.
simply put: i don't want to be the failure kid anymore.
simply put: please help me.

Here's to you getting whatever it was that you wanted.
Here's to me never figuring it out.

I had spilled my guts for you
But you just watched me bleed out
I did what i could to make you happy.
even though we both ended up with cut wrists and red eyes
This isn't love baby
This is torment

sometimes i have dreams of
piles of rotten meat, green & shiny,
slimy
disgusting nauseating,
******
white film
chewed holes full of maggots
& flies swarming the whole thing
buzzing like a jet engine in your eardrum

Fingertips ******
   Dig, impose,
Pick at a crusty
   ****** nose.

O.O

You fall a thousand times, and each
one, I'll pick you up.
hundreds of knives dropped from sky
high and I look
everywhere but up.

I'm burying my soul I'm digging my grave I'm getting too
**** attached to save myself,
and I am only to blame.
I don't want to trust and I don't need to know I don't need anyone
I just need to be alone,
even though I loath...

The walls whispering in the night, the sheets around my throat too tight, the most comforting things bringing me to my very brink of terror.

They well tears in my eyes
and raise the tiny hairs across my
pale arms.

They're coming for me, but
don't be alarmed,

you can't see them so
they shan't cause you any harm.

they're in my closet
they're in my bed
they're in my kitchen
they're in my head.

I know a girl
a girl that cries in the mirror
because, when she sees her reflection
she grabs for the base
She sees an imperfection
Pretty, yet worried about her face
She puts black on her eyes
foundation is her mask
her disguise
Skinny, yet worried about her size
"Too fat!" she says
it's all about the guys..
She hides what she really is
''MUST LOOK PRETTY
MUST LOOK HOT
MUST LOOK ****''
that's all she's got.
or so she says
no life
no love
no friends...
I...I don't think so...