Tears rain onto cheeks as you watch
In my head wheels spin around
Speech crackling like phone line static
Words blurs barely making sound
How can it be I already epitomize alone?
You reassure me there's plenty of time
Doubts creep like morning fog
Mentally assessing mountain you must climb
Staring at fragile fingers
Present compared to past
Sun set in an instant
Night falling fast
Surroundings mostly hazy
Some parts crystal clear
Ironically what I witness best
Are the things I long to disappear
I'm left with knot in my stomach
Getting tighter with each turn
Wanting peace known as a child
Naivete time won't return
I bought one-way ticket to worry
Shouldn't have boarded train at all
Choke my sorrows and lungs with smoke
Drown yours in alcohol
Life nicer through a glass
Sure it ensures your fear departs
Pulse started pounding louder in my ear
Love wistfully contained within hearts
I cannot explain terror
Bleeding out
Hole will not close
Stubborn ways too old to change
Your incongruence shows
Forcing hope straight down throat
Waiting for falsity to be revealed
Flowers you planted instead of weeds
To be crushed on cruel battlefield
Your comfort tonelessly whispers to me
Thought that would soothe my stress
Did not argue with your perspective
For your sake try obsessing less
But under surface shrieking
Phrases pondered remaining hid
Grasping for method to save you
Before you are gone and I wished that I did

All we sometimes hope for
turns to nothing
once grasped
once tasted
something's found missing
that was never noticed
that was always needed
that we found where we did
but not where we frisked.
A cloud laced in golden
awaits for the morning
and if the sun never breaks?
Do the stars go away?

Expectations rise with no measure.
Why do we look at the gold
and think it as bright as the sun?
surrounded by glitter
joy is unseen.
Happiness shines as light;
brighter in the dark.

Why chase after a fugitive dream,
that when reached cannot be caught,
that when caught cannot be held,
that when held does not come true.

Why keep wanting this dream
so close and so hard to reach
not many have enjoyed it
not many have lived it
but still
we fight for this dream
we live to reach this dream
we try as hard as we can
all the time is needed
to finally reach
this broken dream.

Tears flow down her face.
Agony from recent past, she clings to like a drowning body floating at sea.
Useless debris.
There's a taste of  duality in all things.
A sorrow reality can bring.  
Though this is a mere moment in time it seems like it is everything. How does one gauge pain if it is something we hope not to be remembering?

She lets herself became jaded, a heart slowly turning to stone. Heading down a path she lets herself believe she knows.
She lets herself believe she knows all there is to know.
If she takes a wrong turn there could be more suffering, or more joy then she would have otherwise know.
Who really knows which way to go?