I had spilled my guts for you
But you just watched me bleed out
I did what i could to make you happy.
even though we both ended up with cut wrists and red eyes
This isn't love baby
This is torment

Today I have to crawl back in,
To indulge again in skin, slimy, loose,
Wrinkled saggy skin.
I could lift it in great handfuls,
Feel the muscles, the blood, the everything,
The clammy coldness beneath my fingers.
It makes me sick to the mind;
I want to crawl back out again and run
But there is nothing left to run on, to run to,
Only something uglier than this.
I want to claw it off, the itching in my arms. Scratching,
Scratching at raw flesh, raw muscle,
Exposed veins, all stuck beneath my fingernails.
It is disgusting.
It is inconsequential.
It’s skin.

your fingernails under my skin
your skin, my fingernails within

blood boiled over and what for?
your guts gushed on the floor

your body oozing into mine
brothers, us lovers of clandestine

how the crow sings for you, my love
and for me, oh, the mourning dove

"You'll never know how much of yourself you drop
When you bend over to put up the limbs of someone else's.
You leave parts of yourself you can never pick up again
And you carry more than just a ****** arm or leg
You'd carry something else with you forever.
Always in your mind or soul.
Something you can never wash away."

going down this long lost road
traveling under the waning moon
thinking upon memories of old
I feel my impending doom
we are pilgrims in the age of fire
we are gods.. truth we aspire
voyaging deserted corridors
painted in cast iron blood
a great spectacle of gore
like nothing you could think of
elaborate scheme between hunter and pray
scrambling the mind and left in disarray

I saw a man dead today
Head on
Chest liquid
Legs no longer
The truck he collided with
Totaled
A human sized dent
The bike he rode
Destroyed
The compressions don’t help
Though many try
Human’s banded together for one man
Who stood no chance

In this death I learned
There is good in this world
In this death I learned
There is sadness
Once a friend
Gone for now
Yet he lives on in the friends he rode with
Those who witnessed that horrific incident
I did not know him
I never saw his face
We prayed for him
For those he was with
For those who have seen
For those who grieve
For ourselves

I saw a man dead today
But remembered why we live

Fingertips ******
   Dig, impose,
Pick at a crusty
   ****** nose.

O.O

we were the gods of cynicism
we embraced the dark
cheered on life
as it ****** us over
and then rooted for death

one fine day, however
your greatest dream came true
you left your bitterness for joy
and then you left me too
i only brought you down, you see
led you into the dark
i should be happier, you see
that's what i was told

so that one fine day you walked away
your suitcase packed with hopes & dreams
you told me i need to smile more
and became deaf to my deafening screams
off to manchester you took off
and empty handed i stood there
should've known i was all alone
in my land of guts & gore

i should have known i'm the only one
to intimately welcome evil
the only one to reside happily in hell
oh honey, i'm the foulest kind of devil.

& im bleeding, a rotten corpse on lace lining, lacerations like ventricles holding heart to walls          ringed knuckles wiggling down the throat of a womb ripe with choking god judgement, cutting holes into stockings to reveal a wild garden of desire           molding peanut butter & starving intestines
        
the boys told me welcome to a place where ***** makes us adore you          welcome to a place where sometimes it stops between poison dripped fingertips & sometimes it doesnt, jaw unhinged & aching, spilling chunks of love on your thighs

time to go flay my temple under hospital lights like a bound pig          time to spread my desire wide for them to lick their lips over chronic pelvic bleeding & gory, citrus insides          shove it in me baby, tell me where it hurts, tell me that im dying