I'll be fine, but you,

whoever you'll love, don't smoke --


in bed anymore.

Could you pawn enough courage to smile and pretend that everything is going to be fine? Just this time. One last time.

While the lines are blurred, and cries inside unheard, know that as the end unfurls it is that way by design.

As we cower like cowards in corners we run towards the cracks as the daylight chases us to remind us of the debt we owe for squandering every streak of light  on fights and afternoon delights, you and I knew somehow, we needed a place to hide. In an obscured sense, it is that of saying goodbye.

When I set the pen down and let ink bleed into the parchment, when I twiddle my thumbs cognizant of the things I meant, much is pondered about why the room in your heart I pay rent and as a tenant, I’m flagged delinquent.

And on your end, all along, you had all of me tucked in your hand. The silence too abstruse for one to comprehend and is unnerving.

Perhaps you found me undeserving of a love always teetering on the brink just waiting to succumb to gravity. Now the weight of unspoken truth bears down so heavily on us as we fall apart.

This throbbing anxiety seems to walk the road of eternity and in our insanity, we were two pyromaniacs playing fire with destiny, and destiny, a sadist as it may be, there is a horizon bordering its cruelty and honestly, we were vampires driving stakes in each other’s heart.

What I meant is speak your truth or forever hold your peace, for while we had our falling we loved nonetheless. No matter how we repress the past together you and I undressed and the future fraught with regrets, I must confess, though I detest, today we leave what we  had and we leave it to rest.

If the stars above could paint the vast, vivid realm
That seeks shelter in your eyes,

Would it be fair to decline?

Or perhaps, it was always meant for us
To wave goodbye at the end of time.

We wait outside long closed electric doors

    
        At last, you take my hand, you cloud-float up
        
            Hospital gown draped over a balloon

                Oxygen mask string dangles, now relaxed

                    Its work is over, I still hold your hand

                        My heels lift slightly, I still hold your hand

                            I can’t come with you; time for letting go,

                                We smile, you float -- drip, tape, and bandage free


My toes have never left their asphalt base

My dearest dream,
    and
        I still feel your hand

Farewell, my beloved paradox,
that will forever linger in my thoughts and heart.
The memory of your captivating fragrance,
distinct and unmistakable, will forever stay with me,
patiently anticipating your fateful reunion- that I long
for with every fibre of my being. Come not so hurriedly,
yet in time- so as to have the gentle cadence of your footsteps
linger delicately in the passing hours.

Although the whispers of your presence evade my ears,
your essence reunites with mine once more. Across alternate
lifetimes, where fate doesn't guarantee romantic interlacing,
my affection for you transcends as a steadfast companion,
devoted beyond the confines of romantic love.

I lit a candle
to finally say goodbye
it felt better like a pill
had cured me
of all my anxieties
you burnt down the wax
like another life
one small light
in the cavernous space
of a church
no more room for blame
no more room for remorse
I've let go of the kite string
like I wish I'd let go of your apron
ties are cut
heaven awaits
I am at peace
and you are at rest

I wanna tell you something
From now, I’m not me anymore
This is my last time
To not ever have to speak to you again
To not ever say anything about us again
To not ever tell you any tales that I have

To not ever read your messages
To not ever pick up your call
To not ever have a beautiful dinner
To not ever take a picture of us again

I have not got to be bound to you again
It is up to you
And it’s up to me
If you want to stop following me, go up
If you want to block me, just do it
I feel really sure to let you get out of my life

There’ll be no more cry in our happiness
There’ll be no more smile in our sadness
And I just know that
Lana was right “Happiness is a butterfly”

But, if you think that I’m a brittle person
I’ll not blame you
Judge me!
I don’t want to give a sh*t to you
So please, judge me again and again as much as you want

I’m a melodramatic fool
I’m a broken-hearted
I’m untrustworthy
I’m fussy

I don’t need a psychologist
I don’t need a sharing friends
I’ve fallen to the darkest side of the hell
Darkest side of the world’s heaven
And i know that I don’t belong in the world’s heaven

Thank you for loving me
Thank you for being there
Thank you for cheering me up
Thank you for hearing me
Thank you for inspiring me
And thank you for everything you’ve done for me

Farewell every part of you

I see my town in the rear view mirror
What I’m leaving becomes much clearer
In my mind I can almost hear her
Begging me to reconsider