so much love to give,
not much will to live.
i must be stupid, i think.
people pass by in a blink
only stopping when i share,
not for the fact that they care.
its all about them
and their needs,
its all about them
and my deeds.

so much love to give,
not much will to forgive.
i must be forgiving, i think.
i have to be empathic, or sink
down the drain to be forgotten
or left behind to become rotten.
its all about them
and what they need,
its all about them,
nevermind that you plead.

so much love to give,
not much will to outlive.
i have to outgrow childish whims,
either that or be out on a limb.
i have to move on, they say
but why should i, i cry.
it’s all about them
and what they feel,
it’s all about them,
you just have to deal.

so much love to give,
however will i leave?
i want to grow feathered wings,
i want to cut off their puppet strings.
i want to be able to breathe again
without feeling like i have little to gain.
it’s all about them
when it should be about me,
it’s all about them
but I want to be free.

so much love to give,
but **** if I’d ever learn to believe
that i am worth so much more;
that i should leave sadness at the door;
that i am fully adored
by the people swimming by the shore.

the shore is filled with people who
don’t take until there’s nothing left, who'd
keep you at your very best, who
are your very own life vest, who’d
never make you choose,
even when you have nothing left to lose.

you have so much love to give,
don't let yourself wilt away like this.

lately, whatever had come
was to be held in regard,
for they all came
with swords hidden like arms
and venomous words as sweet as the sky.

though i find it quite fun
to fool around
laissez-faire
where fantasy comes to the world
and infinity becomes,
Intimacy spitted by the universe ~

ephemeral feelings now rather ecstatic
of  Fleeting Faces carry the same sound of solitude.
{ a galaxy to be told,
never whole }

but when it's over,
the colossal weight of whatever lies behind the door
recoats our hands, our teeth,
as names are forgotten, light is gone.
it wintrifies

and we
continue
- gently down the stream.

Friends and
Friendship. Sometimes,
They are diamonds in the
Rough. And, simply, sometimes they are
Diamonds.

You agree
When you want to shout, curse, and swear
The Almighty....answer this weeping willow
Made of concrete air
Of unfeeling movement
You cower behinds browned bodies, montezuma minds, and your license
Power to go as you please, be as you please, please help me to see
The inner child trapped in mordant cornerstones, and sitting on your own weight
To grasp the folly by the throat and twist him into existance
Not so much absolution
In agreement with other fancies
Prayers unanswered
Dwelling on ginger hands and knees
In ******* when his course has never enter into being....real
Or really close
His path to plunge thick into purple passionate trance
His path askew from my own
Though a followed trendy line
A drink
When it makes your journey into trees, and speed, and gluttony
A laugh
When scorned mouth spewed and sput into russet wounds already *****
A smoke
When it clogs your memory into patchwork and quilted thoughts unwoven
Youre unspoken!
You agree?

How can you miss something you've never held on to long enough to be yours?
deprived of lips you've never touched
longing for a warmth you've never had before
restless anxiety
Why do we sabotage the unknown? out of fear to be loved and adored?
feeling childish over non-existent efforts to be happy
I miss her faded heart...

words strung together like a necklace draped around my neck
"it was like you were the first person i wanted to see in the morning"
words paired together like my favorite pair of socks
you say we pair together in the same way

my brain cannot make sense of the past five days
why are my emotions on full display
i do not know how to control my behaviors
all i know is i'm in need of my savior

someone rescue me from this chaos, from this confusion
i am so torn, so stricken with distraught

your words mesmerize me like the reflecting light of your necklace

"its as if the taste never leaves my open mouth"
"that kiss only coming about because leaping into your body was easier than crawling"
"and the need to breathe was so strong"
"with the mint smoke that rose into the sky surrounding and smothering"
"lips/neck/teeth/tongue"
"everything the eyes could swallow without fear of choking"
"because feeling complete was more important that simply living in distant agony."
            
                
                                            ---------- "Excuses"---------

you were the candle in the darkened room
you were the brightest star in the sky
you gave me hope and happiness
you treated me like i was the rare diamond in the sky

my answer to all my pain was you
and i guess that was my mistake
'cause now i'm lost in the sky searching for any star
the night sky is a prison to me now - stuck
the air lingering in my bedroom is becoming a poison - ****

i am a ghost in the presence of you - unseen, forgotten, the past
you used to see me, now you see through me
why does life play with our souls
you were the only flicker i had left
but the ghost of our future let the wind knock you out
and now i continue to sit in my darkened room, staring out the window trying to find another diamond in the sky