The darkness of the road
That you left unexplored
The you that never lived
And all their smothered words

You left yourself for dead
Went on your merry way
Let shadow claim what might
Have been a better day

You murderer, you coward
Indulgent homicide
You **** so many worlds
With every careless stride

Since when did we  
carve coffins
(with a coldness we can hibernate in)
out of each other’s cruelty?

Had i known gods perish
by their believers’ hand,
i would’ve stopped you from swearing
— on our mutual martyrdom —

“Cross my heart and
Hope to die.”

I picture us falling down a bottomless pit
And we're nearing a section with a divergence in it

We can hold each other as close as we want in the minutes we have left
But that does not change the reality that the divider will show up

And split us in two

Let us imitate intimacy
While we're still in each other's vicinity
And though I've inconsistently felt your proximity,
I know that, for now, you're here with me

A day before she goes, it feels like it could snow
It's so cold out

A day before she goes, I find myself below
Just crying out

Our hearts, heavy, worn, ignorant of what to do
They cling to each other and wish that the two
Could once again become one
And that this all would be done

This is
a cattle nation,
an endless sea of
black and white
floating perpetually towards
a smudged horizon,
grey and faded and
seemingly farther away with
each step.

I feel confined in this world of
flat-irons and resumes
and the words
and the people who say the words
but really mean something else,
expecting me to speak in the same
cookie-cutter sentences and
plan out a logical progression of mundanity
to cloak myself behind,
placing my footsteps carefully
in the molding
that was set by the infinite
faceless people that trudged on
before me.

There is no fork in this path,
no place where it splits into
two strips of gravel,
but there is grass on either side,
waist-high and swaying rhythmically
in the breeze;
I step out of my molding,
out of my cloak
and there is mud soaking my feet,
grass grazing my bare knees
and I can see music
and hear color.
I look at the black and white creatures
who can see only shapes and shades
and their grey destination
and I turn around.

I feel free in this world of
choices and serenity,
allowing my feet to lead me
to where the tall grass
meets a pond;
my body caked in dirt,
my hair loose and curly,
my lungs full of air.
The wind whispers fervently,
words unlike
anything I have ever heard
telling me of that feeling
between hiccup-sobs
and moving on,
between being tied down
and pulling away,
reminding me of the
moments of calm and
moments of chaos that
eventually led me

Here.

Staring into the reflection in the pond,
where the transparency meets
the slow ripples,
and I see

Me.
Alone,

leading the way
to my new destination.

The clouds above us weep
at the sight of your departing footprints,
but don't fear, love, for
from these relentless tears,
beautiful flowers shall sprout
and the heavy goodbyes
that engraved your lonely footprints
will be replaced with
welcoming embraces
and the light laughter
of a new beginning.