They say forgiveness is for those who were wronged

But so is choosing not to forgive

You don’t have to forgive those who hurt you
In order to move on from that time
It doesn’t matter how many times
     they did or didn’t hit you
It doesn’t matter how many times
     they did or didn’t scream at you
It doesn’t matter how many times
     they did or didn’t make you cry
What matters is how many times
    you were afraid
What matters is how many times
    you couldn’t imagine being safe
What matters is how many times
    you couldn’t imagine things getting better

You don’t have to forgive them

all that pain
and belittlement
you served me
day and night
when no one
was looking
made the little
man within you
feel much, much,
much bigger
but now you
stand before me
weeping
with no teeth
and the big man
within me
has forgiven you.

I don’t resist anymore by now.
I just don’t need it at all.
I have no grudge, no rues, no fear
And all my mistakes are forgiven for all.

I continue to live no sweat.
It’s not my age to freak.
I look ahead with no rushing.
I look back trying to forget.

I stop fall in reflections
About the frailty of life.
I stop rankle myself and sorrow
Through all my dark sleepless nights.

Now I’m here as I am,
Unvarnished, not trying to please.
I live! I’m free and clear!
There won’t be no chance to repeat.

And you’re here now, you’re near.
I don’t really want to know why.
I don’t resist anymore. I don’t need it.
You want to do so. So do I.

“Mercy,” He said, is the higher call, a gift of grace offered to all.
For justice measures and gives each part, But mercy heals the broken heart.
It sees the sinner not just the sin, And invites repentance to begin.
“Blessed are the merciful,” He proclaimed, For they shall receive the same. Not an eye for an eye, nor a tooth for a tooth, But love that seeks the deeper truth.
For in each act of forgiveness shown, the seeds of a greater love are sown. And in this love, we find release, from bonds of bitterness to peace.
So let us walk the merciful mile, With open hearts and a gentle smile. For in mercy’s embrace, we truly find, The justice that’s compassionate and kind.

It seems so far away now,
My hurt, my sorrowful howls.
I still do wonder even now,
Are you happy, how art thou?
Do you think of me and scowl?
Or was i just a smudge on your story, to be wiped away with a towel?
Regardless i have peace now.
Peace of mind, peace of soul, peace of never knowing how.
How it was so easy for you to take that bow,
And not knowing how you are now.
Alas its far away now so i do not frown,
For although you are gone i am at peace now.

You’re scratching at my door,
So carefully and humbly.
Come in... You're so shy...
Don't be suprised. Go to.

You see, my door is opened now
And I’m not expecting guests at all.
In contrast to no one will enter here,
No one will cross the sill of all.

My home today is calm and empty.
It doesn’t scare me at all.
I am so tired of eyeless follies,
Of thoughtless cavil, eating up the whole.

Come in.
It’s clean and warm here.
It smells of labdanum and mint.
I’ll give you tea.
And now you’re here,
And we’re not to blame,
Nor you or me…

Bittersweet to remember
The hands that held you
Before they beat and bludgeoned
You and the potential you once possessed

Cast off into the sinisterly sultry embrace of eager
Sharp-toothed
Thirsty mouths
Only to serve shadowy dead-end escapes

Perfectionist performers
Putting on unsatisfactory performances
For insatiable audiences
How could any of us stand to forgive each other?
Let alone
Ourselves

I wasn’t waiting for your call. I knew you would.
I didn’t bite off fingers, nervously awaiting.
I didn’t come for phone anytime
That it was late in silence as if flouting.

And I was walking on the street, so lazily and slowly.
And I was breathing calmly, evenly, full-breath.
And I continued living, saving plans and wishes.
I knew your call would come, there can be no pretexts.

And as it should be, my affairs caught me up
In its own dashing cycle with the head.
I don’t know how I actually forgot
About your call, which should be and no bet.

Yes, I forgot and you just didn’t call.
Let’s easy say that we’re kind of even.
I will go on. I’ll live without your call.
And you don’t call me, uselessly forgiven.

I forgive you
I do
But right now
You have no clue
I'm too sad
To be near you

I'm overwhelming
I'm nagging
I'm begging and pleading
I'm unbearable
And you're there
Under my skin
Just beneath my grin
It's not the right time
For you to finish my rhymes

We never said goodbye
Now it's hello again
Are we friends
Or is this pretend
I'm so fragile
You have no idea

I say I'm playing it cool
Then call you like a fool
No answer
No answer
I realize
My crazy banter

Then you text me a day later
And all is fine
But I'm out of my mind
I miss you
I always did
But it's deeper than that
I'm a lost kid

I'm sick and afraid
Alone and ashamed
Desperate for comfort
Desperate for compassion
I run to you
I run and run
And plunge into your soul
Never wanting to let go
But you don't want to be that close
Again

I understand, old friend
That's smart
That's who you always are
But I'm fragile
I'm broken
Looking for old pieces
Hiding in familiar faces
To tape me back up
To keep me standing
Life is so demanding

And I'm missing the main piece
I can't be put back together again
After losing you the first few hundred times my friend
I think it was finally my end
Then again
Here I am
I'm just fragile
And broken
Wondering if you'll be there with me
Again