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If you had died-
because of what I said,
what I didn’t say,
what I became
when you needed softness and I turned to steel-
I swear
I wouldn’t be writing this.
I’d be gone too….

Not out of love.
Out of guilt.
The kind that climbs your spine
like a noose learning your name.

I replay it every second-
your silence,
the hours you vanished into,
the stillness I didn’t recognize
until I imagined you cold.

My hands,
these stupid hands,
could’ve held you.
But they threw the match instead.

I dream of your name
stitched into hospital linen,
and it guts me.
Because if you had slipped away-
for real-
I’d be carving apologies into my skin
just to feel the pain
you almost drowned in.

I’d rather bleed than breathe
if it meant you’d never felt that alone.

But you stayed.
God, you stayed.
And now I’m here
with this monster in my mouth
named regret,
and a thousand I’m sorrys
that don’t resurrect a single thing.

If you ever leave again,
don’t let it be like that.
Don’t let me be the reason
your story almost ended.

How can I ever live with myself?
I can not.
my biggest mistake.
Now the cuts
have faded to pale seams,
from the girl
who left her key on the counter,
and took the why with her,
and the friend
you hadn’t seen in years
but still called brother,
his paintings hanging quiet on walls
in rooms no longer yours.

like the ghost of an old song,
still in key
you rise again
fingernails dark with soil,
burying sunflower seeds
in morning’s cold fog.

The dog needs feeding.
There’s toast to burn,
and leaves to steep.
You carry your small life
like a cracked bowl
that still holds water.

After years bent in ritual hunger,
knees pressed to rice,
tongue dry from vow,
nights lit like altars,
no revelation came.
No divine telegram.
No trumpet of truth,
just the kitchen humming
and the silence after the call.

Only the widow neighbor,
waving through fogged glass.
Only the pipes in the wall
clunking like an old lung.
Only the light
barging in
without your consent.

You believe in coats
with missing buttons,
safety pins where zippers gave,
old threads that never matched
but held anyway.
You forgive the past
not because it asked
but because you need the room.

It builds in your bones
like wind in an empty house,
constant, uninvited,
and full of old names.
Like a tune half-remembered,
only the hum
remains.
Izzy Geary Jun 16
This ends now,
for all of us,
this version of us will not be remembered,
and the memory of all of what made us,
will fade.
And for the monstrous things
we made ourselves into,
give us back,
we don’t want to belong to you.
And for our souls,
for most of us,
I believe there is peace
and salvation,
and perhaps a tomorrow.
But for one of us,
the darkest pit of hell
waits eagerly.
So don’t keep the devil waiting,
my dear.
Forgiveness itself is a sin
Em MacKenzie Jun 14
I took my first wrong turn
when I took you so for granted,
I was so relieved to wake up next to you.
I’m so used to making my world burn,
or making sure that it stays slanted,
perhaps I should stop writing in red and start with blue.

You want to know what was my worst mistake,
it was watching your heart break
to prevent a fracture of my own.
I need to stop doing things only for my sake;
can’t eat and have my own cake,
each day is just a loan.

I see colours from and around you
but I always paint shades of grey,
we can argue that the pictures beautiful all the same.
Analyze shadows, shades and each hue,
we can always find a sun ray;
we’ve perfected it into our own type of game.

You want to know what was my worst regret,
was making your eyes turn wet
to keep my own dry.
I’d place all I own left on a bet
that it’s something we both won’t forget,
I wish that was a lie.

I committed my worst crime
based upon my biggest sin,
you’re so faithful; truth is I don’t deserve you.
“This won’t happen a second time,
I’d rather trade off my soul and my skin
spend the rest of my life held together with tape and glue.”

You want to know what was my worst mistake,
it was watching your heart break
to prevent a fracture of my own.
Share consequences from the choices I make,
it causes me to burn and ache
right down to the bone.
Apologetic lvl 80
apricot Jun 5
you can't swim to save someone
who wants to drown.
matilde Jun 2
Man was not born perfect. Neither divine, nor beastly. But shaped from the mud of contradiction: a being who, at the same time, reaches for the light and falls into shadow.
Among mortals, there exists no creature entirely good, nor entirely corrupt: each walks a ridge, where every step may lean toward evil or good, without ever fully dwelling in either.

According to the bards of the South, it was Prometheus who molded the first human heart using tears stolen from Eléos, a minor and forgotten goddess, born from the Compassion that Nyx, the primordial Night, wept while watching the wars among her children.
Prometheus ignited that tear with the fire of thought, but he left man with a flaw: the heart could beat in tune with another’s pain, but it could also reject it, shut itself off, dry up.

When man wounds man, when he betrays, strikes, tramples, what awakens is the most ancient part of him: not the one shaped by Eléos, but the one carved by Nemesis, the goddess of retribution, twin sister of balance.

And yet, when the guilty fall, and the unjust suffer, the heart of the just one hesitates.
Thought whispers: “He deserved it.”

But this voice does not come from Eléos.
It comes from the blade, the one Nemesis sharpened with the envy of the living and the resentment of the dead.
A blade that cannot distinguish between the righteous and the vengeful, because whoever wields it, even briefly, loses sight of the heart.

Eléos, on the other hand, does not speak loudly. She whispers.
She reminds the heart of what the mind has forgotten: “He, too, was a child. He, too, was afraid. He, too, sought love.”

And then empathy appears, not as pity, but as a sacred discipline.
It is not an emotion. It is not weakness.
It is the ability to face the pain of the one who hurt you, and say: “I do not wish for him what he wished for me.”

And then you see.
You see the guilty one’s mother watching over his bed.
You see the father remembering a boy who once ran, now motionless.
You see friends who do not understand.
You see yourself, reflected in the face you once hated, and you realize the harm he caused was born from the same hunger for love that burns in you.

Eléos sits beside you, in silence.
She imposes nothing.
But if you listen, she teaches true compassion: the kind that knows how to weigh pain, even when it belongs to the enemy.

People invoke karma. They say: “It’s justice.” But it is not justice they seek. It is revenge.
And revenge is a knife held with a cold hand, but one that slowly burns the palm.

There is no compassion in those who cry for a dog but laugh at the outcast classmate.
There is no empathy in those who grieve for a lonely elder but despise a peer who cannot speak.

Empathy is a fire that only consumes pride.
It is the art of seeing the other not as a stranger, but as a missed version of oneself.

And forgiveness, then, is not forgetting, it is transformation.
It is saying: “You are not innocent, but you are human. And I choose to see you with the eyes I wish were used to see me.”

The myths say Eléos lives in the woods at the edge of Tartarus, where the spirits of the repentant wander in search of peace.
She does not punish them. She listens.
And when a soul learns to weep for what it has done, Eléos gives it a second skin: made of silence, memory, and light.

And you, if you wish to know her, do not call her.
Sit beside the pain you once hated, and listen to it.
Only then will she come.
And she will call you:
Daughter of Compassion.
Keeper of Forgiveness.
thought about this at 11 pm while laying in bed listening to Radiohead ****
Cadmus May 30
Don’t believe the words I wrote
in that fleeting moment of storm,
about forgetting you.

They were born of hurt,
not truth.

My eternity,
still longs for you.

Even silence,
echoes your name.
Written in the quiet aftermath of a moment I mistook for closure. Sometimes, the heart speaks in contradiction before it finds its truth again.
anon May 20
Time after time we meet
In the same spot, in the same way
The wooden door
Beaten down
Rebuilt
Fresh coat of paint
Rusted doorknobs and squeaky hinges
Claw marks trying to escape
Holes trying to break in
Mended and repaired
We pretend it’s the same
Forever closed and always reopened
Resuscitation and revival
Reliable and reminded
That we will always meet
here
louella May 18
i’m not dying to the sound of a lonely armageddon in this cycle of seasons.
just slightly absentminded in nightmares that i refuse to end.
once you stop trying to please
the shadow of another human,
you start to awaken without screaming.
but i’ll always awaken with clenched fists
a quiet, bubbling temper
simmering on the surface.
i won’t point them eye level to you this time,
i’ve learned to shift blame,
i’ve learned to understand your accidents.
and if one of them was me,
i forgive her.
forgiveness is what i need to learn to give to myself and to everyone else.

written: 5/16/25
published: 5/18/25
Tiálen Resan May 18
Both sending letters,
they tore their love apart—
each line like a "don’t leave me,"
they looked like real love letters.

Reading between the lines,
you’d see who played the part.
The strange thing is, the culprit
was not of either heart.

Jealousy, the silent fire,
gave context and reasons,
possessing their prey,
it moved without control.

Can love be found again,
by one who shared the blame?
Can a fractured soul find wholeness
through forgiveness, love, and name?

Your sorrowed letters shake me,
each farewell cuts me through.
Some of us never get letters—
not of friendship, nor of loss,
much less of love from you.
Full translation of Cartas y culpables, originally written in Spanish by Tiálen. AI-assisted and guided.
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