it was beautiful.
The way you made me feel.
Flowers bloomed amongst me,
Happiness flourished as did we.
The sunshine and the breezes that enveloped me came to mean so much more.
I was home in your presence.
I was where I'd always hoped I'd be.
But the Crack of thunder startled me and in that moment, I awoke.
Your eyes were filled with fear as lightning filled them and you became overwhelmed with the decision of whether to fight or flee.
I paused.
I stared at you, searching your eyes for comfort.
Tears rumbled. Rain enveloped us, even though we were sitting beneath shelter.
It pierced my face as my thoughts grew louder.
-what was he going to do? should I persuade him to stay or let him make up his own mind?-
I was naïve.
I allowed you to make your own decision.
Lightning struck.
I was blinded and before I could recover from the flash, you were gone.
I waded in the pools of water that flooded me.
I found not a single life jacket.
I'd been left there to drown and drown I did.
But somehow, somewhere inbetween the suffocating and wheezing,
A boat arrived and took me back to shore.
I swallowed air like a newborn baby.
An island was what I'd landed upon, one on which I'd be stranded for months.
In those months I'd found a peace within myself.
I told myself I didn't need a savior.
I didn't even need you.
9 months passed and flowers were blooming once more.
I guess that's when you'd decided it'd be the perfect time to "rescue" me.
You arrived onto my island of peace and you stirred it up.
You told me you'd bring me home.
I wanted you so bad, but I wanted to go home even more.
You were home, though.
"Stay with me," I cried, "Please."
"I will. I won't leave. You're all I want."
I took to heart everything you'd said.
Weeks went by as the fleshes of our skin grew to know each other well.
Your kisses melted me and I knew that you were all I'd ever wanted.
I found myself within you and I couldn't bear to part from it.
I needed you.
You knew that.
You cried yourself to sleep over it countless times.
The whimperings were more prevalent than your actual cries.
You didn't want me to hear you, you didn't want to lose me. But you were confused.
I woke up one morning, turned over, and stuck my hand out, ready for you to grasp it like you loved to do.
All I felt was the emptiness in my heart because when I opened my eyes, you were gone.
Again.
Again.
My trust met its demise.
My eyes met tears yet again as the skies darkened and thunder roared.
I ran to the shore, hoping to catch you fleeing, but you were already so far gone that I couldn't see anything left of you.
The waves were pounding onto the beach, so I ran for shelter.
The home you'd built with me to suit us was demolished by the heavy winds, so I was homeless once more.
9 months passed again quite quickly and so did my love for you.
I felt free.
I ran around my island basked in such a great amount of joy. I was unstoppable.
"Hi," I heard someone yell.
I turned mid-twirl and my eyes laid upon a boy with stunning blue eyes and a tall, lanky body.
He approached me shyly.
"Hi," I replied, my lips tugging into a dimpled smile.
That's all it took for me to feel "in love" again.
We were hooked on each other within moments.
He took me home, a real home. I was safe again.
But it wasn't the same. After a few months of constant worrying and nights of sobbing, I pushed him away.
"You're all I want," he'd cry.
I didn't believe it.
I needed myself. I didn't want anyone.
The End of may soon arrived and so did you.
My home.
I wasn't too sure about getting involved, but I needed to see if the third time would be our charm.
We tried again.
It wasn't the same.
I couldn't trust.
You hated yourself for it
and I hated myself for it.
I longed for you so much that I was beyond control of my actions.
I said crazy things and I dreamed crazy dreams.
I cried myself to a river each night for a week.
And so that's when I denied myself another storm and denied you a home.
