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The Vault Jul 2019
You enter my mind
As if you always belonged
And filth my thoughts pretending to be kind
It was forever ago and I have to move beyond
But what you did is everlasting
Stained my soul with hate
But I am not collapsing
You were not my fate
Just a speed bump along the way.
Twaffle May 2019
You tried fixing him,
far from what it should be.
But every bits of your love,
filled the void of his scars.
And once he was completely healed,
leaving you with nothing but bitter goodbye.

You don't have anyone to rely on,
and the sadness you took away from him,
became your lingering regret and it broke you instead.
my fingers are leaden
my hands are sore
i never would have thought before
that you'd bring me so low
that there'd be no room to grow

my nails have been chewed to stubs
my stomach sinks to my feet
i finally admit defeat
you broke my heart
i wish I can go back to the start
and not press send or call you back
prevent each and every panic attack

my brain tells me no
and my heart aches for you
but you never believed it would be us two
you chose another
caused cracks to form under my skin
i never should have let you in

i crumpled like paper
my skin white as snow
now i know i was right to let you go
i never held on
i just released
you've left some pages of my life creased

it burned to breathe
my lungs were on fire
you dug my heart out with dull wire
it took so long to beat again
i wondered if i could take this pain
so all i could do was try to break the chains

things have begun to change
another came along
i have a new tune to my song
why are these things always so scary?
it means i'll never stop being wary
time for me to be brave

he has to pick up my broken shards
scattered here and there
i wasn't sure if he would care
once things went wrong
it seems that we belong
i wouldn't have read that in the cards

i'm only scared he cuts himself
trying to fix me
and he no longer will want the key
that stops me pulling back
that keeps me on track
because i am not worth it
This was written when I was closest to my lowest of lows and I edited it when things got better. I edited it again as things grew worse, but they've finally begun to level out. Sad thing is, some insecurities apparently never die...
Ivette Apr 2019
For three years I thought, "What's a silver spoon Mom?"
Now I know it's something people like me never have

For three years I thought, "Mom, why don't we have beds?"
Now I know it's the place everyone spends 90% of their life at

For three years I thought, "Why does everyone own a big box?"
Now I know it's a place we call home

Two years later I thought, "Mom, why are you crying?"
She pointed at the silver object in my hand I used to eat

"We're getting there sweetie", she said brightening up with a smile.
True true.... Life experienced.
Jade Welch Mar 2019
Did she save you...
Pick up your pieces and fit them back together oh, so perfectly?

Did she save you?
Or were you just too afraid to be alone?
Years have rushed by since the time you hurt me
And I want you to know that when I think of you,
I do think of you as the storm who did nothing good but destroy its precious surroundings.
You are no longer pinned in my mind rather, you are out of my mind
And I do remember you as someone who broke me rather than loved me.

This poem is about another poem I wrote here with no title.  its kind of continuing that poem of my feelings now, 4 years later.
You said
the pills would make me better
and I guess they really did
because I can't seem to cry at all
but I cannot seem to live
the pills took a piece of me
something I just might want back
the pills took a piece of me
that something I now lack

I have been made sane,
but the pill is all to blame
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