i remember my nightmare
as if it were a childhood.

I’m trapped and there’s no getting out.
I try to go up but I stumble and fall even farther.
I try and reach out for something, someone, to grab, to hold on to
But, there is nothing, no one.
                I’m Alone
Is this how it ends?
Do I fall until I can’t possibly fall anymore?
Does it end with me falling, past the point of return
Past the point of ever coming back?
                I’m Alone
I open eyes that I didn’t know were closed.
Everything around me is crumbling,
Falling apart.
I’m going to be crushed but, no one can help me
                I’m Alone
It gets harder to breathe
My chest feels tight
I’m drowning, even though I’m on dry land
There’s not a soul in sight to pull me out of the water
                I’m Alone
Everything is getting darker
I don’t feel like I used too
As my eyes close, my vision fills with hazel eyes and dark hair
You said you would be there, but you weren’t
               I’m Alone

Dreams make reality worse.
They bring expectations up.
They make everything seem okay.
They make us happy,
They make us laugh,
They make us feel good,
They make us love.
And everything's okay.
But then,
In a matter of seconds,
That dream is crushed!
Devoured by reality.
Reality has always been reality.
Its never been good,
Its never been bad.
But once a dream can show that reality can be perfect,
It sets your expectations up.
Making reality,
Which was once bearable,
A living nightmare.
Leaving us with pain,
Sorrow,
Hurt,
Regret,
Leaving us with feelings,
Feelings we once had under control.
Feelings that now control you.
And these feelings will stay
Until you learn to control them,
Once. More.

You mustn’t look behind
You mustn’t look ahead
Stay in the sideways they say but it can be hard when surrounded by *****
Your future is bleak and non-existent
Your past too melancholic
So sideways you look regardless of the numbing pain engulfing you
Your foreground fades to background
Your background foregrounds, highlighting futility
Looking sideways is how you stay until future and past collide

*You should’ve looked behind while the choice was there
Or ahead, at least

But she was as quiet and fragile

like a flower pedal

whispering through the trees

melting like snow on a hot day

but she will never be broken

strong like a bolder

Smart as a scientist

and beautiful like a

        flower

dead people understand me
i should visit a cemetry
'cause i think my time has run out on earth
i refuse to tip-toe through life to arrive safely at death
'cause all it takes is one shot
one syringe to induce a blood clot
i can see the needle from here, its quite appealing
or i could get up on the table and free fall from the ceiling
the pain will be temporary, permanent will be the horror
i hope my mom doesnt walk in on a corpse, i should warn her
its funny how the floor becomes a second home during rigormortis
the heart gives up, fingers tingling, this sight is gorgeous
no future in sight, look in my dead eyes, they're glistening
this should have never happend, pain is now an addiction
dead people understand me
i should visit a cemetry

tonight i am sad
tonight i am lonely
the demons are reaching out
and i need you to hold me

A week ago I was hopeful,
that everything could go back to normal.
But that was a whole 7 days ago.
And in that 7 days,
you've fallen in love all over again.
From the moment she said hello,
I knew I was history,
old news,
just a memory.
Now I hardly cross your mind.
Not too long ago you thought you couldn't live without me.
But moving on didn't take you long,
and you're doing just fine.
The 'I love you' and 'forever' didn't last long,
until we had to say
"Goodbye."