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its bitter Feb 2018
Check in impatiently
hauling light luggage -
downturned eyes,
bundled fifties,
skull packed with sickly
sugarplum notions

Stiff key-card door and
three hanger closet -
leave your mittens, jacket,
and conscience dangling

Towels
cotton-knit sandpaper
no softer than well-trafficked
threadbare tawny-port carpet and
your hands and feet pretend
not to feel it

nervously,
a bit numbly,
you notice her standing
with glacial stillness
moments away from
the foot of the bed

Two crooked lampshades and
dim headboard lights
close their eyes when
the mattress springs
first compress,
the air tingling
with dustbunny snowflakes

This room is too dark now,
something like snowblind,
but you don't really want to see
do you?

Frostbite when she touches you
and somehow this bed
is more welcoming
than your own

you'll remember her
february fingertips
and hailstone hair,
a sensation of northerly winds
strange how heavy the comforter feels
sprawled across your skin

you envision an ice slab,
see it suffocate
a slow-flowing river,
and your breath quickens
if only because your lungs
have been crushed

then, just before hypothermia,
she leaves,
lights off,
wallet lighter,
you stay whiteknuckled, lightheaded,
half-consumed by a snowdrift,
beneath the duvet -
dazed

your tongue sits confused,
having asked for peppermints
and been given ice cubes instead

and when you finally rise,
and thaw your limbs
and try not the slip
on the black ice
she always leaves
by the door,

Try to forget
you paid
hourly rates
and shed your clothes
that you might find warmpth
in a blizzard
E A Spain Feb 2018
I believe that some of the best art
Comes from a dark place
Not sure what I look like in your eyes,
But clouds inhabit my space
It’s been some time since I felt the heat
And the walls closing in are cold and bleak

Every time that I arise and look up to the morn,
All I find is leery signs and others of forlorn
I was ravished by the wind
And beaten by the rain
I had given it my all and still had nothing to gain

I found peace and I’ve lost it before
He showed me the truth and I’ve only craved more
I found peace once by the pond
With the bees circling in the valley
But even that dissolved once we strolled into saturated alley

Well where did I go?
Where did he lead me?
If I had the chance to tell you...
You wouldn’t believe me

I was ravished by the wind
And washed down with the rain
I know how hard work is to bring success
But all that love results in, is pain
I know that every time is different
But you’re always left feeling the same
With no one else but you and yourself to blame
Alone in the well is where I was left to wither and wane

I hope they’ll be coming for me finally
As I can now feel the pressure
But the light in me is reminding...
That it is the only thing that holds me together
lins Dec 2017
lost

where am I?
I’m here

lost

I can’t see myself
there’s no more reflection

where am I going?
I’m still right here

lost

lost

only I can find me
I don’t want to be lost anymore

I am here
showyoulove Nov 2017
Finding Peace

My heart is restless Lord I am searching
For joy when I should be looking for
Peace. I should be asking more of you and saying less of me. I know you have me here right now and it’s where I’m supposed to be. I don’t know how to try and I feel like I’m doing this only as a last resort. I want joy, but it’s peace that I need. I find peace when I am here in adoration and the grace that I receive. It’s hard to let go of trying to find joy, because I love joy and you have given me a joyful heart. Remind me not to love joy more than I ought to love you. Let Your Will be done Lord in and through me. Allow me to speak love and life into all I encounter and may the work be fulfilling. Perhaps I already have the answer in front of me even now. I am at peace when I am with you. If I am with you, I will know peace and there is so much good I can do as a priest. Poetry and prayers, mentoring, connecting with all people especially our young people, being a councilor and confidant and all these things give me joy. Maybe being a priest isn’t where I want to be, but maybe being a priest is where I need to be for me, for you, and for others. Please Lord, help me to discern ever more this big decision and I pray that wherever I go and whatever I do, I may find or be led to a place of peace. Help me find joy in all the things I have peace with and may i never lose the joy and the childlike faith and love that you have given me. Amen.
mumu Dec 2017
We keep on finding ourselves,
Tho we are not lost.

We keep on searching our half,
Yet we are complete.

We keep on looking for love in others,
But we never try to look in ourselves.
Just like beauty,  love also starts within you.  Don't look it to others, look into your own heart
1
I knew the day would come
You would come find me
As it had been said in HIS Word
So pictures I dreamt of what
You should look like
What I like and want to see
In the one who shall come
To find the good thing that I am

2
I saw you in every guy, tall and slim
Skin a shade or two lighter than mine
Oh and that one guy who was a shade
Darker, loving and good, intelligent too
I saw you in their voices, sometimes their words,
And actions until I did not anymore
It was love, my kind of love, their kind of love
And it was over every single time

3
I had had it, this last heartbreak
I swear shattered my rib cage
So I stopped trying to find you
Before you found me
I stopped trying to find you
And begun to find me for you
Digging deep within for the virtues
That I know HE embedded in me
Not just for my satisfaction, but for multiplication
And HIS glorification

4
Now I know the day is near
That day set for you to find me
Just as in HIS prophesy, I
Got your message
Loud and clear
I anticipate your arrival with
Faith and prayers to last
A lifetime together
In the love birthed
Just for us

©Belema .S. Ekine
Rae Nov 2017
I’ve heard it said
“you have to learn to love yourself before you can love others”
I did it backwards.
I had to learn to love others
before I could find enough love in my heart
for myself
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