Life is
Cold water.
A little dip
Refreshes,
A little pull
In the current
Is drifting
Washed up on a distant shore
Lucky if you're breathing,
To know you have been cold.

We stood and watched,
mesmerized by its brilliance,
pacified by the warmth
that radiated through our bodies.

Our highs flowed up through the heat,
riding the tips of the flames
as they licked at the sky,
incandescent and greedy.

We knew it was burning too hot,
too fast—
but only the crash can humble the high.

Mistakes, regrets and feeling pain,
Fun, happiness and being fain..
We do succeed and we do fail.
These all are useful living gain.

Sometimes we fall, but then we rise
And being strong we get a prize.
Sometimes we lose, but then we find.
The darkness's hidden by the light

August 2017

You are disconnected
and the cure for that is

to fill yourself up with loss as love
and not wait on an experience to make it happen
or others to fill you in

only you can make you happy
by your own will and desire

Drugs are like people
When we first meet them
You get such a thrill
How could such an experience
Be contained in a vessel
We try to keep our distance
Addiction makes us look dependant
But we can't wait to get more

OH that sweet taste of fulfillment

People are like drugs
We put some on a pedestal
We look at others with disdain
It's so easy to blame it on them
The chemicals in our brains
So cynical but the truth is
That once you get used to it
Life is pretty mundane.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗.
“𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚘𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠.”

𝙴𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚜, 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚢.
𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚜, 𝚗𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚞𝚕𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚘𝚛 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙𝚜 𝚘𝚛 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏.

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚠𝚎𝚋𝚋𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚜.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚞𝚕𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚊𝚕 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎.

𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚊 𝚘𝚏 ‘𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏’ 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚞𝚖𝚊𝚗,
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎.



𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗’𝚝 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚟𝚒𝚟𝚊𝚕 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚜, 𝚏𝚞𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚘𝚏 𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚠𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚖 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗.



𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚟𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠.

𝚂𝚘𝚌𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢’𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚎𝚗:
“𝙼𝚎𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚌𝚛𝚢.”
“𝙱𝚘𝚢𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚜.”
“𝙼𝚎𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐.”
𝙰𝚛𝚎 𝚙𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚝.

𝙰𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚛𝚢, 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖, 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚞𝚌𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚋 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝.
𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚢.

𝙵𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚒𝚝, 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞,
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚐𝚘.

𝙻𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚒𝚝, 𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛,
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢.



𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚔-𝚝𝚘-𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚔 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎.
𝙰 𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚞𝚕, 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐
𝙱𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢 𝚊 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.

𝙰𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚟𝚎 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚞𝚛𝚎𝚍
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚊 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑.



𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝.

𝙸𝚝 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚗 𝚟𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝 𝚙𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗.
𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚒𝚝.

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚝
𝙾𝚛 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚞𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚜 𝚞𝚙 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎.



𝙴𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕,
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚙𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚒𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚜; 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚕𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚛.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎
“𝚆𝚑𝚢?” 𝚖𝚊𝚢 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛.



𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚘𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚏,
𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝’𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚝𝚑.
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚜.

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚙𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍,
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚕𝚕 𝚓𝚘𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙴𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚑.

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛,
𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜,
𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗.

The pleasure is all mine

when I see a nickel on the sidewalk
while on my way to the bus-stop
nearby,

and when I,
the fast traveller,
see a piece of weathered poster
whirled up in the wind

and then laid there
on the roadside forgotten,
yet still retaining
its hue vivid

—the colors are still lively at the least,
nevertheless.
    My heart grows into full vivacity
    when I see such serendipity so small,

glowing in brilliance yet so lucid,
in a manner ever graceful
—no matter how tiny that is—    
from the bottom of my heart
    
    —I'm being accepted
    into thy blissfulness, which may hold
    the wonders of the world
    ever imaginable.

I am on my own
a Lighthouse Keeper
amidst the Night,
each fly,
in some presence:
coalition of a duty protruding
by thoughts,
delusions,
stories and
what’s exquisite
in sensations that
need guarding,
and then enjoined
with that never ending standing,
watching,
time lapping,
and all that taking place
in the ink hues with
scarlet pulsing as if hurt,
in baby blue
and lilac
by a sacrality
to me solely
constantly
held out
on
a string
to never let go
of
to
another.

Wild dogs of the veldt
stocking shelves in aisle three
     stalking gazelles
with me in supermarkets
     in Savannah
Predatory packs of discount snacks
Toto on the radio
but Georgia always on my mind
Yes, ma'am, I will gladly help you find
     the best watering hole
     this side of my primitive soul
But, pray, don't leave me in the morningtime
before I've got the chance to find
a ride home