they see the facade, the academic veneer,
but the truth lies hidden, only i hold it dear

the world believes success is all i chase
but i question if i’m running in the right race
i question what truly this journey is worth
am i just building castles on this shifting earth?

amidst textbooks and deadlines, i quietly yearn
for answers not found in a grade i might earn
will this path i’ve chosen be my true fate?
or will i wake up one day, realizing it’s too late?

so when they call me hardworking and bright,
i smile on the surface, hide my inner fight
for behind the facade, the mask i wear,
lies a soul pleading,
“Lord, hear my prayer.”

Ω

Deep within her stare value-laden eyes bare
Thou liketh compete with disciplined man
Prim proper equanimity assembled as plan
Serve glory to God; begone any despair

Grasping thy reality of excellence profound
Access vast depth of emotion- drowned
Dangling medals reaching out to touch
Through tranquility, stand by your ground

He pushed me open like a book untold
Words of the gospel used by mean
Daring as His veracity He loved me as bold
By sworn duty, I shall perpetually convene

Imprinted   in to the  fleshwall-
linings   of my very spirit
resides a photo of you--

(staring at your computer screen)
      with a genuine look  of shock  
        and disbelief..

..And before I could even yell Sam
I was receiving     by you
the most horrendous,  publicly displayed
****-kick  I  have  ever  received.

It only stayed out there for a short time
but online, a "short time"  
            ..is exactly as an eternity;

       So I pulled back  in self protection.

I had been dickin'-around  out there
in a whole 'nother poetic-realm..
playfully finding words and verse  comparing
my wildly-passionate virility

    to that of a well-honed precision,
    high powered performance engine

And two clear babes  showed up  in the comments
   and let me know
how impressed and affected they were
by what it was they were reading.

   So naturally,  me being a single man..
         I responded.
    I never knew them before, or ever saw them after.
    End of story.


                    ..Almost.


Young,  beautifu­l Wildling--
I never knew you even gave two ficks and a ****..

Until I saw that picture  of you..
staring into your computer screen
in raw,  disbelief--

      ...the wind,  fully knocked out of your sails.

So..  clearly you buried yourself
in  multiple two-fingered  snorts
of your favourite "spurned lover's"  little helper happy-juice..
and once you reached   the intended goal

     of full-blown,  *******--

You performed some of the most Machiavellian-****
I have ever seen in my life.  

           (But it fell short of its  intended goal.)


Nothing can remove you  from the love  of you
                                        that I feel in my heart.

What you thought was destroyed,
was immediately forgiven
   Solely because of that picture  of you
   that is now,  forever mine.  Solely.

   There is a dream,  beautiful girl

   ..And nothing  you can do  
                  can make it end.
                  (The restoring of you   back to you
                  is such a central part of that dream.)


    The restoring of you, young beautiful..       You.


            
            Mm.

    Shhh....   listen..

Selmhem Naise
  (02/2016)

I was so much older than you, but not enough to where
we couldn't be in the same school at the same time.
I watched you grow up throughout the years,  
and you attracted my attention in a way
that I have yet to find words to describe.

The first time I saw you, you were with your friends
stopping in the park on the way to school-
swinging on the swings,  even though you had
long outgrown that stage. It didn't matter to you
because at home you still had Barbie dolls that
you played with. You didn't care what people thought,

you just did what you did because it made sense to you.

As you got older, so did I and I grew in stature, yet
would still look towards you where you were at,  four
grades younger than me. I was tall, muscular, tanned,
long blonde surfer hair. You were a freshman and always
hung around with that messy looking nerdy-type kid
who had tape on the edge of his goofy looking horn rim
glasses. An upper class **** started ridiculing him,
and you jumped up off the bench  and literally climbed
up on his back and started punching him in the head
as he was spinning to try to grab you off of him.

I was close enough to run to the commotion, and told him
that if he laid a hand on you I was going to knock him cold.

Do you remember me grabbing hold of you
and lifting you off his back  and setting your feet
back on the ground?

   I looked you right in the eyes..
   and it was at that moment that you saw
   what I had carried of you for so long.

   You were still just a little girl at heart  and in body.

The end of that year I graduated and moved away.
I went on to marriage and family, work stuff..  everyday things.
When much of that crumbled, I found myself here;

   and there you were again..

I have loved you for nearly all your life, little scrapper
it has been well worth the wait.

Life is all about change;
We grow by the process
Of problem exchange.

Overcoming a phase,
Brings us to the next;
Excellence is what we chase.

Enveloped by dumb babies
Who cannot read a word
I'd rather be a-flyin'
Till then I'll just be dead.
(Bled 'n' bleedin', dyin', nothin' new, goo-goo.)
Prefer a cradle to a sty
But babies love to waddle
No wonder people play with knives
And babies love the bottle.
(I Love the Sky.)

"On my temple in Delphi there are two words written:
Know Thyself.

It's good advice,
Know yourself. You are worth knowing.
Examine your life. The unexamined life is not worth living.

Be aware that people have equal significance.
Give them the space to make their own choices, and let their choices count as you want them to let your choices count.

Remember that excellence has no stopping point and keep on pursuing it. Make art that can last and that says something nobody else can say. Live the best life you can, and become the best self you can.

You cannot know which of your actions is the lever that will move worlds. Not even Necessity knows all ends. Know yourself."

you are the kind of unnoticed excellence
that carries around people,
every day
accidentally overlooked
my buried jewel
you may not be flawless
but you're still so perfect