All I hoped
was once a dream,
but fortune was in my favour.

I came to life
to live and love
and give all light a flavour.

A cave within
was filled with thoughts
drowned by emotions contained.

First of the friends,
show me the way,
to be, no longer, estranged.

There is the monster coming out of me
He's the only one that keeps me from the bleed
I'll let him rule my heart again
Keeps me far from everyone's sin
Harden what little heart I have left
Because all I did was wept
I'll never let love in
No never again
Sweet oblivion
Never to be forgiven
Heart in a blender
Life torn asunder
Let the moster out
Turn it all about
Never to let any one close
This is what I've chose
It's only way my life goes
Other wise agony just grows
My life has changed
My feelings are deranged
My soul mate is estranged
It's all been rearranged
So I let the monster roam
Only he can bring me home
I'm back in the dark
It's only right I'm marked
The broken only get thrown away
So in the trash I'll stay
I will turn invisible
Because I am just to miserable
I'll let the moster be
He's the only one that truly sees
He will keep me safe
Keep me from the painful place
The moster keeps everyone at bay
So I can robotically go through my day
My moster kills the feelings
My monster will do my dealings
My monster moves my limbs
My monster now lives in my skin

I quit
your ******* list
a long time ago...

I felt my heart beat today
The evidence of life felt unfamiliar
As I felt the beat in my palm
I begin to feel estranged from my body

Hello Joe, I'm married to Jim
I'm sure that you remember him
I know it's been a lot of years
I'm sure there's been a lot of tears
I'd like to help, to reconcile
So think about it for a while
I am a soldier, you were too
We both did what we had to do
And we both know war takes a toll
It leaves a black mark on your soul
No matter what you try to do
It makes it hard to be with you
Whiskey just won't chase away
The ghosts that haunt you every day
Before you know just what you've done
You lost your wife and lost your son
The damage done you can't undo
And I'm sure that's not lost on you
Your son's a man and he's so fine
I'm very proud to call him mine
I know it's more than 20 years
You may be rightly full of fears
I hear his childhood wasn't great
A violent time and full of hate
In Germany, the cold war chill
And home grown trauma left him ill
Back to Suffolk, civvy street
Life still violent, not too sweet
But Jim grew into quite a guy
His childhood makes me wonder why
He overcame as time flew by
It's not the beatings that you gave
That helped him learn to be so brave
Your son's a pilgrim brave and true
Despite and not because of you
But now I've found you, Happy Day
So what you got to say?

She had mousey brown hair
Always in a bun.
Her hazel eyes turned grey at times,
And she got pink in the sun.
She stood taller than I;
Though I desperately tried
To grow that extra four inches
Alas my genetics determined
It would not be so.
Her hands were not distinguished
But rather soft yet common.
(I grew very well acquainted with those knuckles.)
Her body once lithe before childbirth
Became a homely pear.
Not much, you may say, to look at.
But there were days, I'll tell you,
When she was more beautiful
Than the red harvest moon.
The days on which she smiled.
Those are the days I search for
In my memory.
For that is all I have left of her, you see.
Just this artfully lacking description
Based upon fading photographic memories.
Nothing tangible.
Just this imaginable
Portrait of my mother.

I miss who she used to be.

I will forgive you if you leave me alone.
They say it is easier to love than hate
But there is too much hurt to turn back time.
We are shadows passing through the night
No one will care
If we don't overlap.

© Maria Francine

Estranged in summer rains'

       landscaped  dissolution

       evincing season's discontent

      neath sun's suffocating alienation;

used to rhyme with warmth

             and effulgent delectation,

   emotional realms fizzled in a

              heated  halfhearted sizzle

            of down-pour's restless manifestations