Not to many have resisted the risk
Hold tightly and lose control through the same clenched fist
Pray for there to be but dread that last kiss
How many have been hurt who weren't on a list
Who gets hit with every miss
Can't run from this
I must confess,
Take a minute here to be honest
I don't know if I can say it's worth the risk

©2023

she is inescapable
fringe coefficient
a strange perfume tonight
lips to the phone
he took her on a laptronica trip
bitters and Absolut and pistachio
listening to the frightful sections of an unused movie score
and playing a new game
—studies in paralysis
no sympathy, no violins
just musette and drums
just an avalanche of images
frame-by-frame

her hesitating beauty
over a hundred days
each a silk thread
each a dark pearl

kissing specifics
in the empty space of a matinée
hologram of the new sun
burning like prime meridian, the hunter's star

ripples of inhibition, making waves
and confessions in
the deep end of a pool

always submissive with a smile
like holding her breath underwater

I stared once at this box
With a golden pink sign
"Femininity" it said

And yet the box was black
A sealed and hidden front
Pry it open? T'was quite hard

I know that this Pandororos' box
Holds some treasure at the top
I dread however, all the rot below

I think often of this box
All the treasure near its top
Creativity, care and justice

Pandororos - all the gifts at the top
And I still dread, what hides just below that top
Blood and tears, bits of flesh
All the rot below the top

Haven't even shed Crocodile tears
Calloused feet and scaled back,
the tear and wear.

Biting wildly and deeply into what feeds me
That desperation is the toll it has me in a death roll
This whirlwind of drip grit and flames; while spinning in the mud I can have no shame.

My pride deluded me to think of myself as an ancient king of lakes and streams.
Watering holes or beachfront property
On a sunny day, my kind knows harmony
We only know war At the movement of opportunity.
A Petty precarious peace treaty:
Survival of the fitness; closed mouths don't get fed
Survival instinct; if you don't eat you'll be the one who loses an arm and a leg

How can I even shed Crocodile tears
When I've become the dread

They say you can't choose whom you love,
But I say that's not entirely true.
Sometimes, you will it
And their flaws melt into sea foam and footnotes
And you begin to love so deeply,
That it becomes as automatic as breathing
Constant. Ever. Driving.
Love that paints the sky pink and the blacks blue

But me, I'm not ready for that love.
Something inside me becomes nauseous.
The air gets taught and sharp,
Goosebumps become body briars
Ready to cut anyone too close.
I want to love, and,
One day, I'll will it.
Won't I?