In a field of corn, it’s ok to be a sunflower.

What once came
easily
has avoided me
recently
what came
seamlessly
now comes
infrequently
I fight for it
greedily
it passes me by
speedily
I play
strategically
I struggle
repeatedly
I take what comes
gleefully
It moves past,
teasingly
The absence hits me
grievously
I walk this line
treacherously
I cry out
needlessly
This seeped into my life
lethally

So, yeah,
I'm not like the rest of the heard.
I'm Different.
Thank you for spreading the word.

at the playground
i watch them run and play
chasing each other
from dawn 'til the night of day

on the bench i sit quietly
waiting for my turn
waiting for them to bat an eye
waiting for their concern

the swings she pushed her up
so high
"promised me i'd never come down?"
he promised she would fly

over to the seesaws
the unbalanced perfection
two kids on one end
that never seem to go one direction

you have your hands up
in the air
sliding down a slide so steep
you pretend you don't see me
you pretend you don't peep

i catch your glimpse,
hoping one day you'd say a hello
so day and night i wait
at the park bench, alone

the day never came, perhaps
they just never seemed to care about me
me in my overalls and sneakers unlaced
i am not like them
with their pretty pink dresses
and their obscure taste

and so, at the playground
i learnt loneliness
was my best friend
in this place we call fun times
i knew nothing
but know i am undoubtedly
out of line

I can't write religion
Or write to inspire
But I can give my stories
From the heart
To tell the future
That it is alright
To be different
From the others

all the books
of all history
are all the same
why do you expect
something different ?

i was a different person then
i was happy

sometimes I wish I wasn’t cursed with this unquenchable thirst for freedom,
I wish I could lye faithful to a moment rather than daydreaming about what it is next my heart and lungs will sink themselves into, without ever really acknowledging their incessant urges for a steady pulse

There are very few moments I’ve held onto and allowed every element to melt into my being,
as if soluble with breathing skin

I wonder which moments are easier to dissolve in,
which burn and which sting
Which submerge you in feeling, in an everlasting ocean of converging electromagnetic fields

And which seem to be happening in another dimension,
one other than of life,
one in which stagnates and inaudibly negates the concept of time,  
as if it passes right through,
these moments, i know all too well
and yet, its as if I don’t really know them at all