And when they ask you about me and you find yourself thinking back on all of our memories, I hope you ache in regret as the truth hits you like a bullet and you find yourself replying "she loved me more than anyone else in the entire world and I destroyed her."

I wanna destroy something.
Whether it be expensive or cheap, big or small.
I want to **** something up.
Just so,
for even a moment...
something will be as I feel.
Destroyed.

cancer is like a flood...
Unwanted and fast striking...
Before you know it it's taking down buildings and everything you were once familiar with.
Destroying everything...
sometimes without you knowing....
It starts small, you see?
A simple cell in the beginning....
Then it spreads fast...
Even if you build up walls and think it will never come back if can still come back....
Like the river...
You try to find ways to keep it from flooding,
But that doesn't stop it.
It comes back stronger and higher each time until it spills over and floods towns....
Cancer is like that except inside your body...
It starts small and if you catch it soon enough you can do stuff against it...
But sometimes it comes back stronger and destroys everything...

I don’t want to be a slave for love.

I don’t want to remember someone whenever I go to a place, or see a thing or smell something familiar.

I don’t want to feel something whenever I hear a familiar song.

I don’t want to cry over some memories I had with someone just because I know that it’ll never happen again.

I don’t want to miss anyone anymore.

I don’t want to fight for anyone. I don’t want to live for anyone. I don’t want to spend my whole life believing that love will make me happy and I don’t want to spend my whole life trying to get the love I think I deserve.

I don’t want to feel something so unbearable that I’d do anything to follow it, like when I miss your skin against my skin as we cuddle every night while watching our favorite movie and it’s driving me mad because all I feel is this coldness around me and I need to breathe in your scent again but I can’t do anything except to let the tears fall on my cheeks while staring at the sheets of my bed where we once had our best moments together.

I don’t want to be tied down by love anymore. I don’t want to be attached and dependent. I don’t want to be weak like this anymore.

I don’t want to feel or even do these things anymore. For once, I want to be free. I want to be free from the hurt that love caused me. Free from the chain of thorns that love had wrapped around me.

Love, you, see, is cruel. It will ****** you at first, will make you see beautiful things. It will give you hope that maybe, just maybe, you’ll finally be happy. It will make you feel the warm that you have missed after years of living coldly and alone. It will make you curious, it will make you wonder ‘what if’. It will make you feel beautiful things. It will lure you to invite it in you and then, it will make you its slave once you let it.

It will eat you from the inside. It will control you. It will pain you. You can’t do anything but to follow it. It will only make you suffer. Do what it wants or you’ll feel unbearable things to the point where you want to rip your heart out just to make it stop…but you can’t. So you’ll just lie down on the cold tiles of your bathroom floor, hugging yourself while water spills from the faucet and tears streams down from your eyes, and you, internally screaming while love breaks your heart into pieces.

It will make you vulnerable. It will make you live in danger and with constant fear on your mind. It will only cause you nothing but chaos that will leave a hole on your chest that you won’t know how to fill once it’s done driving you mad.

Then, it will leave you destroyed.
And you won’t be the same anymore.

You know what the biggest crime in the world
Is to love someone more than they deserve
The punishment for it is nothing but get destroyed by the very same person
Never trust a person so easily neither let go of someone so easily
Forgive your enemies but never forget their names.