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Tess M Nov 2019
why do I find so much
emotional comfort
in a sweater
that represents so much
hate

things just don't
add
up

why won't they just let
me
be
angry for
once
Empire Nov 2019
Trigger warning: Self harm, cutting, substance abuse


the ceaseless agony
she endures and endures and endures....
until the burdens force her knees to give
everything weighs so heavily on her
and in her desperation
what else could a suffering mind do
but frantically seek refuge
earnestly pursuing escape....

the meds aren't enough
the pain cuts through them
so she wonders....
how many could she take?
two... three little white pills?
might it help?

she knows they'd notice the missing bottles
but she longs for a heavy intoxication
a dumb bliss
a few hours of happiness
let the pain melt away
replace it with stupor

so she considers lesser options
she could binge eat for mild pleasure
intertwined with heavy guilt
she could **** herself
oh right.... she can't because of the meds
nothing else offers her any feeling
she seeks emotionally charged art
music, poetry, shows
but it's not enough
it's never enough

so, in her desperation
when all else has failed
when the agony is unbearable
no solace in sight
she opens the drawer
in the safety of her room
uncaps her tool
sterilizes the edge
sets the metal to her skin
and drags it across
'til she drips red
TMReed Oct 2019
Gasping
In your shadow,
To you, I scribble
In this little book.

Of a hornet
Whose glass wings
were shattered
by your skin
Watch him squander
atop your ivory toes,
pleading
you might hear
the clattering
of his gaunt limbs
as they crumple
and snap.

Of a vacant egg
after half its body
was swept up
by the wind
now festering
in the dried remains
of its splattered pearl.
How many dusks
And dawns
did this fledgling
spend snuggled
in your skyward arms
to wind up
a meager stain
on your chin?

Of a wilting boy
calm in clay
shaken in spirit
who wasted
too many years
praying for
your stony eyes
to fall
as his have.
Suffocating, he offers
dying souls
a fool’s paradise
that you,
Sweet Basilica,
will part your leaden lips
and breath each
And every breath
you take.

Silly, I know,
but for him
he imagines
you will.

Won't you?
For some, love is warm, runny, spilling out and over.
For others, cold. cruel.
Veronika May 2017
Hug
Hold me tight
Hold me like a gun you will not shoot
Just embrace being the keeper of fate
To have the power to end it all and thus end this momentary suffering
Hold me like a mother, countless of times comforting her child and letting her soft cotton top soak up the tears
Just take me and squeeze me so I don't feel
So that the only thing I'm aware of is your touch and my body is a log and my brain is a dock and the waves crash
The buzzing wind in my ears
The crackle of the bones
The wetness of the shore
I look up, lifting my head above water
Your eyes warm and blue-grey with seagulls
I'm your little baby
And your prey.
Awesome Annie Oct 2019
I could fill my hands with wishes.
Vials of fairy dust tucked deep in my pockets.
one day,
I might need it.
But that day I think may never come.

Prayers whispered on red stained lips,
but they drop sincerely,
with to much heart.
Silence says to much in ways I can't comprehend.

Wind says that it can take me to a place, where shadows can't haunt me.
Sorrow can't sit on my door step,
reminding me of things that want to consume to much of me.

Monsters grab me in the night.
Profanity and ****** don't mix well with whiskey.
My stomach is always twisted in knots of strangled butterflies.

I could be a runaway.
Just another face on a milk carton,
or those cluttered bulletin boards at Walmart.
I fade away so easily,
flowers in my hair and feet bare,
sunshine warming my face.
Ella Gwen Oct 2019
the tv is too loud and my peeled skin
echoes bleeding beaching, I can't get out
and  next door are screaming

a riot of colour and life and celebration
hurts so much I am taut of breath,
please I need help but the words
won't trip off my tongue

I can't bear the uproar
water flashing, roaring , oh
god the suffocation with the sound
of inebriation

I am trying but I

can't
stand it
anymore.
i look to the night sky
for answers
i am so far removed
from where i stand
detached from this time and place
i don't belong
i send a thought
a message
to anyone that may be passing by this galaxy
on their way home
take me with you
seen lots of moving things in the skies lately
Adonis Yerasimou Oct 2019
Moments of agony, desperation
and inarticulate screams
moments I lost myself in space, alienation
don't you abandon me too, please!

There were moments that I saw death
and destruction
moments where my heart stopped for a while
to function..

All the world is spinning like crazy,
don't know what to do
while the thoughts in my head are racing
and I seem like a fool.

There is no one around here to save me
i feel alone
oh my God the demons come running across my mind, don't hate me!
to desperation I am prone,
I 'm feeling sick to the bone,
into a man I have not grown,
all I can do is shout and moan.
To have chosen
to be broken,
and be frozen
while awoken,

To live the pain
to love too much,
and never gain
the needed touch,

To want to feel
a broken heart,
when only real
is torn apart,

To want to live
in spite of this,
so she might give
me just one kiss.
@not.thepoet.hewantstobe
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