Why tell me this?
I'm not even good
You'd easily find someone better
And you say now I'm the best?
Don't even jest, if that were true
Why then when I let go of you
Did you not at least try
To say 'no' you'll choose me
Still -
Why do I ask?
Because believe it or not
I did it for you, because
In the long run I know
I'll only be a disappointment
You deserve happiness
Of which I can't give,
Ever
My question is this
If I were the one truly for you
Why wait decades
I spent time forgetting
Numbing my self of you
And you break me
Apparently this fast
Now, when I thought
I was rid of you at last
That was my measure
My act of love,
To let you go, so
You can find someone above
And beyond me, who would
Truly, fully, equally deserve you
Between us two, when we
Were together
Maybe you were happy,
But I felt my self getting lesser
I never liked who I was
When I was with you
I'm telling you now at least
You deserve to know
So please just go
Don't let me spoil
All this time forgetting you
And how you feel
Maybe our love was strong
Maybe our love was real
But that kind of love would have
Broken us, fazed you,
And destroyed me
And you taught me as much
To care for and love
My self, like you did
So let me have this,
Miserable but loving my self
Not somehow happy with you
But slowly decaying, disappointing
I want you to be happy
With someone who can actually give it
The way you'd deserve it
Believe me, I beat my self a lot with it
Admitting finally that that happiness
Won't come from, won't be with
Me.
