It's been a long journey to find myself..
Dark thoughts and self harm along the way..
Demons scratch at the fragile walls of sanity..
When will I find peace?
When will I be happy?
This dysphoric feeling of confusion..
Who am I?
What am I?
Where do I belong?
Am I her or am I him?
It was so confusing at first..
But now I see.. I am him.. will this make me happy? Darkness threatens me. The demons continue to claw, making me more fragile..
It's hard to pretend to feel..
To feel anything other than pain and emptiness..
But the journey must continue..
For I want to be happy.

i suffer through restless nights
sleeping upright, feeling uptight
i dig my nails into the bedside
casting curses into the twilight
you might then find me among those fools
who walk the streets between dog and wolf
but there are devils in the detail
sprites that hide between the cracks
i pour over concrete slabs to find
their bright eyes peering back
and if i find them we might speak
and if we speak we might agree
they might agree to let me sleep
and i might let my demons be

Poet and king and dæmonologist,
The LORD hath said destroy'd his people are
For lacke of knowledge; what thou know'st t'exist
Of euil thinges and spirite thinges noire
The subiects shelu'd within a grosse grimoire
Thou hast made clearly knowne to edify
The bodie of the Lord on which a warre
Hath bene declair'd by th'father of the lie.
Dæmoniacques deceiu'd by Sathan die
A second death quhair dying hath no end    
And euerie wicked witch wuld sooner fry
Then die the second death and then descend.
A seruice thou hast done to Gods elect
Giuing them eies the Divel to detect.

Astonishingly beautiful world spins around sun
Good and bad souls balance out
To come play with angels
Demons emerge
One needs the other
Cannot survive without

You took away my life
When you said that I should die
There's no reason I shouldn't cut you off
When you still believe in lies

To think I'd ever hurt you
Just confirms you're out of line
I know I'm not the best
When it comes to making time

But
You know I would have died for you
If you let me even try

I would have put away desires
If it meant you were alright
I would have gathered everything
Just to throw it into fire

I would have killed myself for you
If it meant that you could fly
I would have only prayed to God
If He could just give me a sign

I would have brought you all the roses
From the shop just down the street
I would have purchased every one
If it meant that you were free

I would have taken you somewhere safe
Just to show I have respect
I'm not like the other guys
I'm just looking for a friend

A soul I'll learn to cherish
When the skies are turning gray
A voice that puts to rest
The insecurities that I face

A place my thoughts can sleep
When they're keeping me awake
Your hands that I can hold
When I'm running out of strength

Ocean eyes that I'll admire
When the clouds are making haste
A nose that I'll make fun of
When you don't always get your way

Or your arms that will embrace me
When I've fallen in too deep
The words you whisper quietly
To make my inner demons weep

They will tremble out of fear
Cause they can't haunt me anymore
I know my worth when I'm with you
While we're sitting on the shore

Your mind is an ocean of ideas
That I'm diving to explore
My demons no longer there
When I'm lying on the seabed floor
Surrounded by your loving nature
As I get to know you more

You are everything to me
Which I know I've said before
But only when I'm in your arms
Are my inner demons ignored

I'm embraced by surrounding waters
Like I've finally found a home
Where I'm at my deepest point
But I no longer feel alone

I'll be hitting my rock bottom
But can make it out alive
Your words are enough to hold on to
When I'm on the verge of dying

They may take away my possessions
They may take away my pride
But I'll never let them take you
Even if it means I die