I stopped wearing mascara and eye-liner already.
2. There’s a ball within my gut that is benumbing my insides.
3. I look at my hands and they are trembling.
4. This is bad.
5. I’ve always known how fatal impulsion and indecision are but I never listen to myself.
6. I have my walls up but the dragon is inside, slaying every beauty I fabricated with his gigantic strength.
7. I bring handkerchiefs everywhere I go now.
8. This is bad.
9. I had been given three cards to bring into play in order for me to save myself.
10. I’ve used them all already.
11. This is bad.
12. I’m still trembling.
13. The dragon wouldn’t have been here to slaughter me and my kingdom if I hadn’t invited him in.
14. I hear his words over and over again. They sing melodies of his beautiful promises and endearments. Did I make them up inside my head? Why won’t they stop?
15. A tear left a **** across my cheek. I didn’t wear mascara.
16. It’s dark. Did the light burn out?
17. This is bad.
18. There has been an explosion from my innards. I’m all over the place. My pieces are everywhere.
19. I thought he was a prince. How could the dragon’s disguise look so real? I fixed my gaze at him (or it?) and he (or it) looked so gentle. Why is he (or it) burning my garden with his fire breath that is this cold?
20. I used to not bring handkerchiefs. I always lose them. But I have to now.
21. It’s so dark. I can’t see. Where is the light?
22. I’m lost.
23. This is bad.
24. I don’t need handkerchiefs. The tears are overflowing and they’re making an ocean around me.
25. This ocean is drowning me and I’m slowly reaching the depths of it. Will I ever re-surface?
26. I’m drowning. There’s no more air in my lungs.
27. I see the dragon. It’s hovering over me. Does he also want to wreck this ocean? Like my kingdom was just his warm up?
28. This darkness seems better than the light.
29. I can only be saved thrice. I’ve been saved thrice already.
30. Is this my end?

I saw demise in her eyes
acceptance of a summarized
existence in this instance
incidentally its in stints

well baby take my hand and
we'll ride the intertwining serpentine
you feelin my energy in an instant

i feel
i know you missed this
lips reveal whats sealed from description

oh woe to words, absurd innately
oh woe to words' deceptive paintings
We owe an ode to the world, and im thinking maybe
its this moment
its this moment
in this moment I feel relative
in this moment, man, im so not relevant
what tomorrow holds, there is no tellin ya
weve only just crossed paths
yet Ive known you for millennia

Universal Invocations
serendipitous relations
deceitful daggers draped in red cloths
slash at eternal hearts carried by temporary raven claws

disperse

fall into insanity
and land in my lap of chance
no more wallowing in the mire
rhetorical kiaros at a glance

awake, shake these dreams from my hair
evaporate those inhibitions into thin air
exposed soul, open emotion to bare
tip-toeing the peripherals of Medusa's glare

convergence in a vicious cycle
vinyl in perpetual spiral, we rendezvous in eternity
convergence in a vicious cycle
vinyl in perpetual spiral, situated, stuck internally

Many moons might fall and several suns will set
but in this instance, together, we'll always be infinite

I once heard that sadness gave birth
To the greatest of art.
But where is the beauty in cold doom
And darknesss?
The beauty between the lines, perhaps?
The possibility,
Of some cracked conclusion?
To end all delusions, with either mental upliftment or demise?
Upon heavy thought,
I channeled this pondering to be written, only to realize that this is the answer to the questionable beauty in sadness.
'Tis only beautiful when seen,
And 'tis only seen when shown,
And most of us are too scared to do so,
Other than to type our stories here.
This is where beauty in sadness is born. This is the art it creates.
So to all my fellow poets,
To my comrade lovers of prose,
Fret for as long as you need to.
Your beauty is seen,
Admired,
Appreciated.
But let it be known that,
On the flip side of your mind,
The world sparkles, glittering
For all of those who pull their hearts up from the wreckage
to see it.

God, help us all
                     *When we fall

If we fall, there's
                    No catching
                              
*Ourselves..

You were a roped noose
I was a heart-shaped dagger
We were our demise.

I miss you so much
And I doubt
you truly understand
You course through my veins
When I look in the mirror
Who do I see but you?
In my hair, mannerisms and attitude
Most of my family
Doesn't even like you
Or they have a cynical attitude towards you
Its hard not to be rude
But somehow I manage not to
These things you go through
You shouldn't have to
At least not alone
I keep finding myself
With a man
Trying to replace you
But no one can hold a candle
To my father
Missing you fuels my fear
Fear fuels nightmares
Nightmares of you
And your demise
They even strike during the day
By the time its over
Everything is blurry from my eyes
Its driving me crazy
Please don't make goodbye
The first thing I have to say next time I see you.