Your leeward left lays
steeped in shadows,
as a perfect line flickers
outlining your silhouette.
Incandescent light makes
porcelain of your skin.
Its honest touch embraces
you with artificial moonbeams,
airbrushed and pale.
I watch your chest rise,
as you inhale the
atmosphere you have
created with your presence.

**** that
**** dam
because I hold
in too much.
When their is
a leak
I break into
a rut
Mind to fast,
words
spoken to slowly.
Chances missed because
I hold in
too much.
I will break
and it will be big.

1st month:
                  you laughed at all my jokes and kissed me gently. you seemed        to live for every word i said and gave me all of your attention.

6th month:
                   you held me like i thought only you could. you started to kiss me harder and tell me stories of your past, and you would laugh at them and i wouldnt discover why they were so funny to you. i gave you all of my attention.

1st year:
               i recycled the same jokes and you pretended not to notice and would chuckle. you hands traveled up my shirt and i pretended not to notice as you would unzip my jeans and wink. it was a big game to you and i gave you all of me.

1 year 6 months:
             you cheated on me and i still let you play me like the sudoku games you loved so much. i stayed with you because i was so dependent and i pretended not to notice that when you kissed me it didnt mean anything anymore, and i gave you all that was left of the shell of me.

2nd year:
              i broke up with you because she gave you more than i could. you told her all your stories and she understood why it was funny. she used my jokes and you laughed. i had given you all of me and didnt have anything left more myself.

I wrote a poem about Alzheimer's..


Too bad I forgot it

I hate that I'm falling for you and your just continuously giving me reasons why your just no good.

I hate that you always run my mind even when I attempt to distract myself.

I hate that you can't find it in your heart to love and want me, and I hate that I can't make you.

I hate that at 2'oclock in the morning when I should be sleep, I'm writing about you...

****
It's stuck again
This soul
This mind
One in the same
The ****** has come
To block my flow
**** you
For you've partially taken my soul
To not move on my own
To not think
She's stuck
Oh god please get out
For whatever reason it's a sad one
Inside I bleed while my outsides never make a peep
Closest to me no one will ever be
We are inside
You and I
Left behind to live on our owns
To not cause pain when the stones
Casted is our own
That pain I drive
A feeling I want to subside
But leaves me still alive
To press this face to the dirt
To breath it in till it hurts
What a wish
What a thought
You are boring
So am I
Unless we're high
Which I can no longer lie
Beside you

"Don't put your happiness in other people's hands.
               They'll drop it.
  They'll drop it every time."

-C. Barzak