Im in need of a tether
Something to keep me from going
From this world to the next.

So I attach myself to every
Attainable object or emotion
or person.

In hopes, maybe they'll help me.
Maybe hold me so i dont float away
into the knight.

So far everything I've attached myself too has let me drift on to another,
Making me feel more worthless than any other.

I just want someone to love me, to acknowledge that I'm here, but when will I find the one who will love me without fear.

Until thay day, I continue to drift into the knight waiting for my light.

I never wipe my face when I cry

I let each salt water stream warm my cheek

Burn every tied connection between you and me

I let my tears pour over the bruised heartstrings

As if they were saline solution to a cut



I let my tears cleanse me of you

I let them blurry your image and memories we shared

Until I can’t recognize your false promises

I let my tears heat me like a furnace  

When tonight’s loneliness is too cold to bare

With these tears I can stop empty dreaming

And give you back all of your unkept “forever’s”

So tomorrow’s happiness is rewarding

Like a fresh bloom after aprils showers


I will never wipe away my tears..

And I will heal with no bandage

There must be madness swirling inside me
My stomach aches
A sickly urge in the back of my throat
I imagine it whirls around in my blood
Surging through my body like morphine
It spreads to my hands at first
A tremble of my fingers slipping glass from my hold
It glitters before my eyes
i feel it travel to my forearms creeping up into my biceps
Scars reopen and red spills
My fingers now coated in crimson
Then it's clogged my chest all to fast
It's getting harder to breathe but still my lungs fill with air
Heart squeezing, ribs popping out of place
Yet my body stays the same
From there it splits in two ways
One drips down into my stomach
then pooling in my feet and weighing me down
The other creeps up my neck
Taking the oxygen from my head
It starts to spill out my eyes
In tears of panic
And i remember the ways to stay sane
None of them work now
Nothing is working now

Here's the thing,
               You are a boy, not really but you try to be,
               You are a boy, addicted to masculine words, and pretty poetry
                                                                          About two boys falling in love
You enter a room and say,
                             “Hello i am a boy, and if you tell me i'm not ill show you.”
Your fists do the talking when your throat cant,
You come home to your mother,
                                  All black eye, and busted lip,
“I’m a boy!” You cry,
                           And she shakes her head, eyes wet like
                                                                                            Rain,
You are sent to your room,
                                           To wallow in your disgrace.
Your chest aches,
                      But you ignore it,
                                           Choosing instead to rest your weight.

tears,
how many more can i spill?
tears,
maybe im better off drowning in them.