ME, a slow intellectual
"I'm always here for you"
                                                                        11:39 pm : Hey you up?
...
...
the dark Void
a swirling circle
emotions
emotions
emotions
Of how weird does the ceiling look through watered eyes
"what is wrong with me?"

    12:03 am: Hey sorry I fell asleep

To bad rivers only flow one way
battling through the rapids
keep fighting
you are strong enough
oh but I need you to show me
that the river is gone, just wipe your cheek
I can no longer see the path
the steam off boiling cheeks
the dam wall, just one blink
it all rolls down.
I just need you, eyes shut
brain blocked
just you
Just my guide

The last time i saw you was February sometime
I dont remember what i said
But i know i was bored enough to leave early

I regret everything in my past.
I wish i spent more time with you
When i had the chance

Now you were taken away
By the hands of death themself
And ill have to deal with the guilt

Instead of spending time with you
I chose to watch tv and pretend it was okay
I loved you so much.

I never showed it because i was stupid.
I know that now.
I wish i spent more time with you.

Now she spends her days sitting alone
Wishing you were by her side
But you were taken away.

She prays to have you back
To hug you one last time
But no one is listening

I blame myself for her pain for it was my fault
I didnt do anything, and thats why its my fault
I couldve done more

I couldve came over more often.
I couldve talked with you over the phone
You raised me for half my childhood

I wish i spent more time with you
For ill never see you again.
Youre gone for sure now.

Seeing you in the bed made me cry
I shouldnt hugged you everytime
But i avoided it because i was stupid

Now ill never hug you again.
My mom cries for your death at night.
My dad says youre with the angels.

I cry every night over you.
I cry for your life being taken away too early
Grandmother cries for you but doesnt let it show.

Last time she talked to me
She reminded me of the past
And she cried and hugged me tighter.

Sometimes i feel your presence.
I try to hold on to that
But soon the guilt overtakes


I miss you so much.
Im sorry i didnt try harder
Its all my fault.

I wish you hadnt passed away, grandfather.

~Max

How can one person
who is given everything
from another individual
find it within themselves
to want back the person who gave them nothing
but a body to hold late at night

i’m trying to smile today
so far it’s going okay
yesterday hurt
my heart got burnt

but today,
so far,
i sang in the car
and i think it’s going okay

sugar-drunk,
i was looking at you
to remember when life was just slow dances, expanses
of time
when we laughed, when I didn’t eulogize forgotten guys,
then, I saw no one but you
super drunk,
i was looking at you
just looking at you

the knives in her back
felt like nothing at all to her
she's felt it all before,
and to understand anyone
seemed so hard,
as she didn't even
understand herself

she felt like feeling something
and i grew tired of seeing her
sit and wait,
crying

while the others stare,
smiling