Sometimes my own thoughts consume me, scare me.
I know that the wild situations I create in my untamed mind aren't real,
and yet I scare myself to death.
Its like I'm drowning myself in these poisoned waves of thoughts whose pain is spreading inch by inch all over my body,
making me ******* in agony,
making me want to rip my hair off my head.
I need to save me from myself.
Who knew you could be your own worst enemy.

My friends call me a *******
laughing all the while
they think it is amusing
because they do not know it
to be true

So I laugh along with them
"How did you know?"
inwardly hoping for them
to look closer
see clearer
past the veil of my own design

But
they
don't
so we carry on with this ruse
and even if the words were dusted
in sugar
it would still sting

-Esther L. Krenzin-
-Roguesong-

As I sit here just chewing the cud
Nights lost and debauched with my friend Richard
Picking up that guitar as a kid from Cash Converters
He left me for the sun down under with the students and the surfers

E Minor through to a chord named A Sharp
Strangling that neck with fingers that don’t know where to start
I should have listened to Mr Hogarth for this career in its finest form
Rocking out on stage wow that would have been a storm

But it’s never too late to try and give it another go
Read music they say but I wouldn’t know my **** from my elbow
No, no, no, that’s not the attitude
I’ll plug this thing and never give up as someday I’ll fill those smoky rooms

I joined a band with 2 brothers and bassist of whom I did not know
Mill Hill practice every Sunday just thought I’d give it a go
But only one song and a commitment I could not keep it was always bound to fail
I’ll carry on solo still looking on but really just chasing my own tail

Work carried on as a plumber of which I never did really enjoy
But it paid the bills
A mortgage
A van
And a wedding on the horizon
All in sight except for that unseen tree which nearly stopped me from ever rising

Paraplegic is a word I had rarely ever used
you’re a *******, a ****, I had said once myself how dare I have used that abuse
To be told you will never walk again is a shot that broke my heart
Don’t let it get you down be strong and try for a brand new start
The days go by at the start of this new journey
The loss of once friends and to gain some new is now what must ground me
A different perspective and a sharper humour has now unveiled
Hello new world you won’t get me down just watch this beast unravel

Taking the good with the bad and filtering through the ugly
A different ship to now set sail, get ready for this could get choppy
But as I say and always repeat, life goes on its just how you take it
This second chance given to me a bit lower down, but still determined to make it,
Hey Mr Wheelchair.

JJB