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fatima Oct 2020
the pulsating rhythm feels dead
it moves and yet it stops
it dances and yet it cries
it sways and yet it breaks

the maroon skies and sunflowers
the one that i always dreamed of
how can i reach you?
how can i be with you?

the yellow seems bright to me
i am with you but i realized i don't want you
my heart feels so far when i'm with you
my dream is far when we are together

i just want to be free here
i want to chase you, badly and endlessly
even if it pains me a lot
even if you reject me

i want to be there
i want to see the sunset with sunflowers at my sight
i want to feel the euphoria in my eyes
even if it is a deadly sight

if you are not for me
remove the thought of you in my existence
please leave if we will not meet each other
because i always want you, even at the ends.
man, i want up so bad :(
fatima Aug 2020
the dark still feels like a mellow
softly, tenderly and sorrow
somehow, i'm looking above miles
just to see a shining smile

and it gets nearer, something white
look up, it was just a half light
don't sigh and keep waiting for it
just wait a moment, it will lit

it shines a bit brighter today
like happy summer everyday
but a moment seems so fast
please stay and don't be hasty

i plead for a bit of luster
yet the time comes really faster
maybe i just need to sow
something really brighter and glow
happiness is faster than the speed of light.
fatima Dec 2019
naglalakad sa gitna ng kadiliman
at nakapikit sa paghakbang ng walang kasiguraduhan
ang sigaw ng paghihirap ay tinik sa lalamunan
ang pighati ay dinadala sa paglalakbay

ilang patalim na ang aking tinahak
makuha lamang ang ninanais ng kaluluwa
ngunit bakit kahit ilang patalim ang lunukin
kailanma'y hindi makakamtan ang ninanais

binalot ng pait at galit sa paghihirap
may pag-asa pa nga bang matatanaw
sa isang paglalakbay na puno ng sakit
isang sakit na unti-unting lumulumpo sa aking kaluluwa

mababatid pa nga ba ang kinabukasan
sa paglalakbay na puno ng hinagpis
at pag-inda ng mabibigat na dalahin
sa isang pikit-matang paghihirap.
fatima Oct 2018
you are my red blood
that flows through my veins
the one that keeps my heart alive
and the one that keeps through it

you are my orange warning
in every precaution, you are there
telling me that i should be careful
and being mad when i don't

you are my yellow ray of sunshine
as you smile, you turn everything brighter
my cold place becomes warm
you fill up every sadness and gaps i have

you are my green leaves
they seem alive when they are watered
and you are the water
the one that makes them alive

you are my blue sky
a sky so bright seems so happy
full of fluffy clouds up in the sky
that hides darkness in the sky

you are my indigo ocean
a serene in every splash of wind
the waves that keeps me in
flowing right into me

you are my purple pleione
the mutsoraboshi of mine
as you always have me,
i have you

and you, the one who clumsily painted my heart
and painted every vibrant colors that existed
it has been in me and it will always be
and your colors that are in me will always be my favorite.
i love you, i always do.
fatima Aug 2018
you, the one that settled my eyes
the one with the hazy eyes and calm hair
the one with the voice of crashing waves and serenity of night sky

you, the one who has a childlike questions and amiable curiosity
the one who wanders through things
the one who wants for greater pain in knowing

you, the one who makes someone feel the spring
the one who becomes the color to every monotone
the one who becomes the answer in every 'why'

you, the one who makes that someone explore the universe
while looking upon your eyes
twinkling like the stars of someone's night
the one who become the sliver of happiness inside

and to every you in that someone
let it open up for who is that someone
that someone may seem estrange
but its me, that someone.

i felt the warmth of your eyes
with every intensity that seems so radiating
that joins up with your crackling smile
a rare and wonderful sight to my eyes

i want to know things
for they are amazing in me
and i want to know more
because of your infinite questions

i felt the happiness in my saddest days
and your warmth fills up someone like me
who doesn't deserve any of it
and someone who must deserve to die in coldness

and, i want to live again
as i see things more clearly
and i become that happy child again
you become the reason why.
for you and only you, alone.
fatima Jul 2018
My nights are cold and sad as I sip a black pitched coffee that I am holding in my hands. The slumber of sadness still grows in my heart while I let myself succumb in a little blanket with dusty furs beneath. The sadness becomes a growing pain until it become a ghostly pain that lives inside every night with a growl of wildness that seems so silent yet so deadly. All of the stars, no, the universe saw the pain that seems like a winter sadness that just grow everyday as I try to live my life looking for the brightness of a star and a comfort of a tree that seems worn out at times.

         But my nights that are full of sorrows seems alive yet there’s a growing tree that I saw every night as I look upon the twinkling stars. The tree seems alive but I ponder every night in my cracked window ‘Does the tree grows in night full of sadness?’. That place seems questionable to me because when I looked upon my window it can’t be seen easily yet it fills me up at some point. Every night as I look through my window I realized that the tree was just there at the beginning or maybe even before my own beginning. Maybe I failed to notice the wonder of it every night so I tried to peek on it. As I peek on it, I become scared thinking that there will be wildness that I can’t take so I decided to just don’t look at it again.

         Looking back, I brushed it off. The tree was just there as I grow with my endless sadness. My sadness becomes numb and my black pitched coffee becomes monotonous. As the night fades, I can feel the numbness in my body and the coldness of my heart. The shining sun seems a striking light to me that I can’t take that makes me feel burned and at some point, I also thought that it would turn me into ashes. Strangely as I grow up and I tend to be number, I remembered the tree that I looked upon in the midst of my growing sadness. I strangely go the tree that makes me feel scared before. The tree made me feel at home, a strange feeling that someone like me can’t feel in spite of all fake happiness that I display in the warm sunshine up until to the lavenders and pinks of sunset.

        Every night, I always went to that spot, that tree that made me feel scared before. Even in the sunshine I always look upon the tree and it makes me feel at ease. Despite the scorching heat of sun, I always felt the freshness of spring and the bloom of flowers with a beautiful melody of birds. Even in the sadness of nights, I can feel the beauty and mystery of the moon with the stars that looks painted in the night sky. Everything seems beautiful, I guess. Also, my heart grows there with my numbness fading away.

         Looking back at everything that I felt, those judgements are fallacy of my scared heart that is afraid to grow in the light. A child that thinks everything can be handled on its own but it seems like that child is fragile human being after all. Also, despite the happiness that I felt in that place I also want to make that place more beautiful. Maybe the word beautiful is a given statement in that place but still, I want to make that place feel the comfort that it gives to me.

       Right now, that spot seems mesmerizing in my eyes and I hope in the following days, months, and years that spot will always felt like home. A home that I can lean on in the bad days and I can be happy with in my happiest days.
you felt like home, please be happy. i cherish you.

not a poem but a short story for someone who is dearly to me
fatima Jul 2018
tell me
as i know nothing
clueless as it is
everything is just unknown

as i want to know things
to understand, not to be mad
i want to be open
in everything i want to know

so tell me
as i am clueless
like a child full of woes
am curious enough?
just tell me if i'm bothering you.
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