Hands are not for high fives
When meeting up with friends
hands are not for taking selfies
Of parties with strangers at weekends
Hands are washing for 20 seconds
while singing a special song
Hands are for clapping
For our NHS, thank you all, be strong.

Faces can show a thousand signs
Of emotions we hold inside
Faces can show life's lines
As we smile, and laugh and grow
Faces can be all of these
But in this we must beware
Faces can also cough and sneeze
So cover up, wear a mask, don't share

Space is not the outer space
Where men travel to the moon
Space is not the parking bay
Where I park, and be back soon
Space is not the inner space
Where time's taken to reflect and grow
Space is the distance between humans
2m to stop the passing of Covid flow

Waking with a will to do some good,
for some body,
this one I'm in, first. The body of living
matter being reader to my writer,
finding selves aware of worth,
with no grave weight
in consequence.
-- Boom… with

sci, SCI itself, ence, hence con-science,
know… ah, wait… who first knew?
Lichtenstein vvvery inter-esting,
dots what I am seeing,
RGB dots and CMYK dot
If there must be an idea for any matter to argue
reason, what is first reasonable in reality,
given what we have onboard?
This is 2020, spaceship earth, the only planet,
in the zone where mortal minds make reasonable
arguments prove life worth living, while
living and learning,
some things are evidently known as hows
without my knowing why.
Add water.
Water.
Yes, that's the trick,
mud,
without shape or form
thought matter, dream-stuff, fun-da-mental pass-time,
words of wonder, watch us
flow, fly, paint the patterns pareidolic,
get the idea in getting anything in all the realms
for the poor.

The primary material needed for the process
of humification are plant materials.

From <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humus>

Anthropo - of mankind,
all varieties based on humus-frames.

Of a mind to,
in a mood to, take a chance,

flip the lid, look inside, breadbox-sized holder of more-knowing,
like carried over from earlier news,
old stories restricted around
arguing old men, wombed and un,
all aware the other know nothing
of the mystery
of being me in an I state, interesting,
trust me
true rest is the reason happiness is imagined
worth the effort to pursue.

---
Is there a manual? Are there rules and regulations,
asks the ****** diving past my ified
light in the night of some soul
matter unresolved…

what is this fusion within our ifery;
ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa are
we words as wise as words were once?
May we mean the magic power,
boo once held?
Boo, right, scared you, triggered that fabled
flight or fight? No?

****, not fight. Stay put. Become stone,
edify the dust in the dry, thirsty realms of reason,

come, let us argue for the truth you know.

Wait, I have a Phrygian cap.
When I wear it I know why.

Why? I think, I know, I know, I am humus, being
formed from the surface dust of all before,
fitted for a task far in the future,
past the edge of Anthropocene piles of fallen
forms of re, reminders, realities, redone redundance,
thump thump thump

secret means to sacred make, set aside.
Single use,
lock and key. See,
open-minded other wise,
wish you knew,
and know, as per the plan, adjusted for flaws
inherent in the aftermath calculation
of weight as a measure, after
gravity was conceived as
fixed force functioning after the strange force
fixed the imbalance and set an edge,
discernible by raw ideas wishing to matter in the after
all,

desire to know, wish to hide, which is safer
now?

---------------

My head feels like an overstuffed pepper.
Stiff stained starch spread over my eyes,

And very hard to open...hot! Burning hot.
With a nose full of stuff aptly named snot.
Ears full of dough, paining deep inside in need of relief.
Aching back, shoulders, knees, hips, neck. GOOD GRIEF!
Sleep! Oh I wish I could just roll over and sleep.
But my stomach keeps nagging me as I try to count sheep.

No, it's not Covid, but I'd feel better dead.
Just a bad cold, with a stuffed pepper head.

I hear the roaring of the brook, so wild, untamed, and free.
It’s rhythmic and musical, beautiful,
catching everything that comes its way.
And I see my reflection smile back at me.

The world as I know it has changed.
Everything is different now.
Everything has been rearranged.
All the lights have gone dark on the stage.

All the sounds, they’re gone.
Silent.
All the people, at home.
It’s so quiet.

Will it be this way forever?
Has it changed?
Will it ever go back to how it was?

The music is part of me,
And this family is too.
How can I survive this
Without conduction and notes to read and review?

I knew that this would end,
But I never thought it would be so soon.
How can I make it through this
Without humming a single tune?

I thought that we could say goodbye
And I wish I could hug you now
I thought that we could put on a show
And watch you take your final bows.

I don’t know if we can make it through
But I know we have to try
Because we are the singers, the dancers, the dreamers
This isn’t the only time we cry.

Artists face so many struggles,
On that you can depend.
The only difference now it seems
Is that we cannot comfort our friends.

I will never forget the time we’ve had,
And I hope that you’ll remember too.
Because through the years of tears, confronting our fears,
I did it with help from all of you.

This is a family, this is a life
It can be hard for some to understand
Just how much the music has changed us
we are grieving for the loss of our chorus, our band

This is the end of so many years, and this is a feeling so strong
Eyes water, tears fall, heart breaks, and still we brave it all
Because we are a unit, a family of friends,
And this both beginning and end.

Putting things in jars
has long been a family practice
preserving the deliciousness of the season
by shelving the bounty of fall

The way the skin slips from the naked peach
is a seductive notion and cathartic connection
passed from one hand to another
packed tight in the kitchen
sticky with syrup

Heat and pressure mount a whistled release
for both windfall and sun kissed faces
Tomatoes, peaches, beans, and corn
offer rainbow promises from the storm
Even that one Columbus Day

But September 2020 we are shelving Manna
and sorting string beans for perfect presentation
and this ******, industrial chic, "man-canning"
looks back at me through the glass
and I am longing for something messy

the world is on fire,
but i am at peace.
the situation's dire,
and this year was so bleak.
who knows what twenty one
will have in store?
will this virus be done?
will we go to war?
whatever awaits,
i'll be so okay,
passively accept fate
'cause i am unphased
by trudging though days
that are just as grey
as those filled with rage,
as those filled with pain,
that always lit my way.

someday my kids will ask me
“what happened in the year 2020?”

what didn’t happen?
2020 wasn’t a year
it was a war
a war between society
and mother nature herself
it was chaos
it was a pandemonium
it was when fires grew
higher than trees
burning homes and the lives in them
killing the ones that fought
against it
it was when the bryant
family dreams were crushed
a girl that would never
play basketball again
and a father that would
never get to cheer her
on from the sidelines
or watch her persuade the same
career he did
both never getting to see the light of day again
it was when a man couldn’t breathe
because the same people that are
supposed to save us
also killed one of us
they were white
he was black
making moms scared for
their kids lives
if they decide they ever
wanna become an officer
it was the year a legend died
while making kids think it’s cool to
do drugs
but not warning them about it
until it was connected to his
name on the headlines across
the usa
it was the year riots happened
instead of protests
where people got mad over the death of blacks
but put themselves at risk
not caring about the color of their own skin
thinking it would
make a difference in the
world if we got
rid of those who
serve us during shootings
rapes
murders
robberies and ensure our safety
it was when our president failed to
keep us safe
causing a pandemic
and deaths of families members
and emitting fear in people of all ages
it was the year he also thought it was right
to rip kids from their families
due to the ethnicity they were born with
thinking that it would be a positive thing
to give families trauma and fear for
the rest of their lives
it was when people thought
that letting a pregnant elephant
eat a pineapple that they rigged with
firecrackers would be
okay to do
cause that’s just a “normal” thing
not killing one animal but two
and the hope of many
to stop animal cruelty
the year the world got diagnosed
with depression
because people would
rather risk the lives of their families and selves
to do something without a mask
when kids started to hate their parents
for trying to keep them and themselves safe
and when our jobs became a source of little payment


but that’s not all that happened
it was also the year that
biden became president
putting us out
of our misery and
preventing further damage to
our would and society
they year baking and cooking
became a thing
for people of all ages
bringing kids and
parents together
its the year that people
came together
to make masks
and make sure that
others stay healthy and safe
the year that people realized
how hard and
scary it is to be black
and that you can
be doing nothing
but still have to be aware of cops
and not looking
dangerous or suspicious
its the year that kids who
wanted pets got them
even when their parents
said not in a million years
the year kids got creative
making viral videos
and doing great things
its the year that crayola
launched a new box of crayons
with diverse
skin colors for children
to "accurately color
themselves into the world."
its the year that we learned that
homeschooling is harder than it looks
and finally appreciated our teachers
for all the things
they do and deal
with on a daily basis
while getting paid so little
the year that we came
up with creative things to do with
our friends and family
outside and on zoom
the year we got to make so
many memes and tik toks
about covid that
the rest of the world finds relatable
and funny as well
it was the year we got to see
into the lives of celebrities and
show host while they
give us news and their kids
dance in the backgrounds of
the screen
it’s the year of a lot of deals and
free things because
who doesn’t like making people
smile over the little things
the year we all finally got to
catch up on our favorite tv shows
and spend time
alone and/or with our kids
being able to pick up and finish that book
everyone raves about
and getting up late because
you don’t have much
to deal with
the year the good games
came out and the best shows
became available
the year we all saved money
from not having to drive so much
and by the things we would need if we were living
life normally
and the year that we will get to tell
the best and most unbelievable and dramatic stories
about when your kids have kids, when we have kids,
or just to brag to people about in the future
its the year covid became scarier
than being grounded by
dad for getting a c+ in school
or mom getting mad at you for argue
back even though you didn’t
it was the year everything fell apart
only to bring us together to bring everything together
the year that the worst became the good
the year that no one else will witness and
experience than the ones
that lived through 2020

I need you to be alright
I still need you to teach me so many things
I cannot go on without you
Do not leave me
Please.

“I wanted to be happy”
The words crept from my lips like scurrying little spiders when their home disturbed amongst darkened cobwebs in an untouched dingy room
Intrusive thoughts
Dismaying salvation of pathologized compliance
Masking behaviour for acceptance
“Stop spinning in that chair- it’s annoying”
Self expression became punishable
Dismaying youth- retribution beyond reasonable understanding
Belted and crying
Please stop, it hurts
Fearful avoidance
Nothing feels safe
Transmitting adulthood with repressed memories though awakened by medical emergency of your cat
Navigating uncertainty since July; desperately attempting to understand inner workings of trauma brain
Complex post traumatic stress disorder
Medical diagnosis though intrusive thoughts still catastrophic
Chronic pain with desolation
Desperately craving the touch of another human
Covid times; worsening depression combatting betraying myself with fathers abusive words while unproductively masquerading oversleeping
Powerlifting self regulation though collapsing under the bar.
If they wanted to talk to you
They would make effort
Though I still fawn my way to self acceptance
After all;
That’s what my parents taught me to do.