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Indigo Nov 20
“Be yourself,”
But then they tell me to change.
“Be unique,”
But then they frown down on all my differences.
“Don’t conform,”
But then they force me to follow their standards.
“Always love yourself,”
But then they call me narcissist and arrogant.
“Be kind,”
But then they tell me to stop being fake.
“Just relax,”
But then they call me lazy.
“Work harder,”
But then they call me too uptight.
“Money can’t buy happiness,”
But then they laugh at me for not being rich.
“Weight doesn’t matter,”
But then they tell me I’m not skinny enough.
“Enjoy being young while you can,”
But then they tell me to grow up.
“It’s okay to be sad,”
But then they tell me other people have it worse.
“Do what you love,”
But then they tell me I’ll never be successful.
“You’ll be okay,”
But then they leave me for someone else.
“It will get better,”
But then they tell me that I’m being overdramatic.
“Be yourself,”
But I no longer know who that is.
This is what I feel still, almost a year and a half later. But I'm still gonna be whoever I ******* want to be... and that's me.
Indigo Nov 20
our faces

all covered with sweat,

as y'all be yellin’ at us with threats,

our hands covered

with cuts and blood,

while our arms and feet,

be caked with mud

every day,

we be prayin’ to god

for our freedom to come,

ignoring all y’all sayin’ that we were born scums,

someday imma finally

leave this place

cuz’ them folks ‘round here

be claiming that black ain’t no race

all y’all folks be hootin

while callin’ my folks *******

while y’all be sittin there

rifle in hand,

finger on the trigger

y’all whipped us

tearin’ our families apart

but my ma always be sayin’

that things like kindness

comes from deep down

in our hearts

i kneel

strugglin to breathe

as you chain my neck,

and hands

but y’all push me to the ground again

as imma’ tryin’ to stand

i reckon myself i ain’t

gonna give up now

as all y’all ruin

the fields we plough

some know what life

is like without the

cuffs and chains

but the feeling feeling of freedom

is never the same

and some

that deserve it most

never leave and die

and i know that though their body is gone

their spirit always survives
Since a lot of BLM events have been going on... I felt it right to share the new version of this poem.
Indigo Nov 20
...
Take a minute.
Take a breath.
In...
...
...
Out...
...
...
Look around you.
Look outside.
Look at the sky.
Smile.
Smell the air.
Dance a jig.
Wave at a stranger.
And continue on with life.
While contemplating the beauty of simplicity in the world.
Indigo Nov 20
When you lose someone, It's hard.
It doesn't feel real at first.
It feels like you're in a movie.
Your breath gets faster...
You start feeling dizzy.
You keep telling yourself to same thing...
Over
And
Over
Again
Your mind keeps screaming...
NO!
You feel the pain wash over you.
It's like a wave.
It swallows you whole and drags you away.
Away from safety as it drags you down.
You feel like you're drowning in your emotions.
Like you can’t breath.
And if you try to scream...
No one will hear a thing.
You feel like collapsing...
And you do,
You collapse inside.
Your heart hurts...
You feel pain you have never felt before.
You don't know what to do.
STOP!
You shout..
But you can’t.
The pain just keeps coming.
Like a steady waterfall.
Your emotions drown you once again...
You can't do anything about it.
You just have to wait and let it pass.
It pulls at you.
It follows you and attacks when you least expect it...
You don't know what to do.
I know this feeling because...
Because this is how I felt..
When
I
Lost
Myself.
  Aug 2019 Indigo
Sabastian Highton
The more you share,
The more they care.
The louder you cry,
The greater they try.
The faster you run,
The quicker they follow.
And once you are done,
You’ll lose faith in tomorrow.
  Aug 2019 Indigo
Robert van Lingen
You asked for the truth,
I offered, yet I am graced with silence.

This isn't a battle, yet somehow I'm losing.
This isn't a war, but I am still defeated.

This wasn't a fight.
T'was a slaughter.

A senseless homicide of a friendship that I don't think I could ever understand.

I will not be the mannequin for you to unload upon your confused attacks,

I do forgive you though.

I bear no grudge,
I hold no anger.

My role in this play is now,
To patiently wait for your truth.
Even if it will never arrive.
Indigo May 2019
I just want to tell you something.
I don't know what hurts more.
The fact that you were in pain and didn't tell me or come to me for help.
Or the fact that we both had mental health stuggles, and you decided that yours were too much and decided to stop breathing air.
We were supposed to get through this together.
But you left me to figure out my problems myself.
So, yeah... I don't know what hurts more.
You should have ******* told me you were in pain. Now I know that your death is my fault. I didn't know you were hurting that much. I'm the only ******* person to blame. I **** wish you were here with your bright red hair and green eyes. It's all my ******* fault.
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