Casted over me is a loom of doom.

Chained to the negativity it becomes hard to bare.

Crushed by my despair I drag it around and wear it as my armour.

Cursing at myself for the dark emotions, I shrike alone.

Covered by love I still reject.

Cannot receive when there's no respect for myself.

Chasing away the ones I hold dear is the only way I can endure.

Carrying memories that hold me back, I relive alone.

Costs I pay for my depression.

Laughter is like makeup
Proper use
Enables youth and joy
But just as simply
Great amounts
Cover sights for no one's eyes
Concealing a blemish
Disguising deep despair
Fake fools shall be found out
As I have already failed
Makeup run dry
Laughter deemed empty

Anger;
to suppress my sadness
I drive myself into madness
and disguise it
into anger

Laughter;
I try and bestow laughter onto others
to substitute my depression with joy.
I only smile when others
around me smile but in reality im stuck in a void

I’m dying inside... crying inside... hiding inside
Trapped in my mind.... fighting inside

Searching for myself ina rage
Only to find myself ina cell, locked away in a cage
Afraid..
To tame....
This animal, this beast, this serpent
So I masquerade around pretending to be perfect
I mask my emotions and hide my feelings on the surface,

Determined....
To lock away my emotions, to lock away the hurting
Throw away the key and pray no one ever goes searching

What’s my purpose?

blue curtains blue curtains
o send me your hello
blue curtains blue bedspreads
o send o give me your covenant

like night curtains like sunset covers
like night curtains which are stars
like day runners like day hares
o send o give me your hello

16.11.18

Beneath the air I breath
I find you
A soldier of youth
Catching stars to bring to earth
For me a present
For you a future

Rosemary covers overhead
Reaching for the words you’ve said
Past revelations
They brought us our now
Clear head
Words unread