On a foggy dark London day
Strode Mr Prufrock, Alfred J.
He made many an allusion
About ****** confusion
Now he’s dead like Phlebas…ok?

Storming rain
The sound of life
Deeply drains
Into a strife

Only my age
Lives in my booth
Becomes my cage
My future, my truth

It’s just some tears
No one should care
Fighting my fears
Do not despair

To finally cope
Severely drifts,
My promising hope
Is what has left

if tonight's your last
and yesterday's past
intimidates you or
relentlessly accuses you
of the things that
once enchanted you
and you take a slap in the face
you cut to the chase
there's no time to waste
but really you're stuck
you feel out of place
and the rhythm of the sorrow
drags into tomorrow
because you cannot forget
and there is abundant regret
draining from the scars
that you've tried to hide
that you've put aside
and in reality, your soul
IS TIRED
of waiting, of praying
of feeling like it's straying
you breathe, you sleep,
you live as if you
were not dying
you're still trying
TO BE OK
but you are broken and
you cannot cope
and all of your hope
has gone up in smoke
to where has your spirit flown?
LET GO
for the love of God, release
give it to the One you seek
to Him whom your eyes have not seen
in this moment, you are
FREED.

© Melissa Carlson 2015

A right at the end of the tunnel --
I am not yet free.
The rocky path is dark and long
And slowly nearing I see --

A freedom at the end of the tunnel --
I know I'll escape soon.
It is a constant and pressing struggle --
Though I'll come out to the moon.

A hope at the end of the tunnel --
I feel it -- I know it -- It comes.
It is hard to grasp, though now I see
My journey no longer is numb.

A right at the end of the tunnel --
It's not freedom nor is it hope.
But it's a right at the end of the tunnel --
Not a left -- Not to wrong -- But to cope.

The sun could shine or rain could fall

in a slow pitter-patter against my wall,

& I wouldn't know the difference.

But I know there comes a day

when I'll stand naked & feel the rainfall,

& how I've missed it so. . .

I know what you feel can tear you apart,
You ask why you deserve this broken heart.
Looking in a deeper lens,
Out of sight from the present tense,
I know there's a Truth, I've been there, too,
For why I've been forced to live so dark & blue.

Nothing in Life comes with certainty.
There's always an unfair Mystery -
And amidst the mists of misery
Of my darkest, coldest history,
There are lessons that become revealed to me.
So, now can I see the positivity.

The pain & sorrow, the feeling hollow -
How can I be blessed with this mess?
I asked myself this - Is there something I missed?
It didn't make sense. Every time I ask "why?" -
The pain becomes more immense.

But I was strong; I had to be.
I lived happily, like Momma wanted me.
Carrying on, singing my song,
My melody shaped by her Memory.
She lived on through me. Indefinitely.

Now, I look back, the pain, it lasts,
But my confusion, my rage,
"How could He take her away?" --
Easily, now, it's removed.
There are things that begin to make sense.
I've been shaped by Life Events.
The bad times were necessary.
They taught the most to me.

My regrets taught me Lessons I need.
Maybe for this Life, for the next, or maybe indeed,
For the Universe, on yet another lens.
Yet again, out of sight
From the present tense.

We have caked our wounds with love
And hidden our pain with laughter.
It's the way we cope with tragic disaster.

don’t mistake

my benevolence

for admiration,

I’m addicted to feeding your ego {I think I love you}.

~rachael hays 19J15