It wasn’t “I love you”
but at least it was goodbye.

Your duty is to learn...
what exactly can never happen.
Mine is to prove that could.

Waiting for results,
patiently possessing all the commercial good sense
being made on TV and YouTube, ignoring Tweets.

Finished Lex & E. Weinstein
Finished A World Lit Only By Fire-
Pondered,
puddled & splashed through pundit
performances of guessing,
betting
this election, 2020,
is
the respirited story conspiracy, this is all the breathers,
mouth breathers
nose breathers, nose-in-mouth-out breathers,
rare mouth-in-nose-out breathers, rare
but
possible… one in eight billion is consistent
with inspiring research, to prove
this
is commonly considered odd - almost meditation,
but each breath holding real human spirit
influencing the entire ocean of opinions,
see, wipe the beading perspiration,
whew, we are
the conspiracy, this is us, breathing one
breathable bubble, in the sea of all knowns,
we breathe knowing,
were we all to breathe at once,
here is plenty of air,
so

why are you choking?

My lover remembers to leave me a note,
talking about the time we used to talk
when we were lovers,
when our bedsheets aligned,
and the politics overhead too, made love every day,
and found the time to write spare notes - on cheap paper, and my borrowed pen,
to an amour she would not see anymore,
talking about the blue nights she spent with me,
my lover recalls with vividness
the words I had said to her,
before I could learn to speak again,
in this really long note she has left me, and
I can suddenly see time as I have never before, and
my lover looks at me as if she has never before,
and she doesn’t know when to stop, and her heart doesn’t stop so easy,
and I could stop reading,
knowing she might die soon.

I want to rend this mind from within, cut it free
And leave it to expire with an ounce of clarity.

I want no skin left pure, I want it ripped until raw
If it would only cancel this human mistake that I abhor.

I want resentment to reside, to agitate these thoughts
As they race towards a destination that, for so long, I had fought.

Realizing my time is short but my love is deeply engaged, in owning only sadness will be made.
The eternal struggle, my love was real, to her it was fun, a folly not to keep and feel.
When I am not present draw her near, I've come to the conclusion of my time here.

They say endings are scary
Again, what do they know?
Maybe they’re just guessing
Perhaps, going with the flow

Endings could be peaceful
Of endings I’m not scared
They are regretful that’s all
But my whole life I’ve dared

Endings could be happy
Of endings I’m not scared
They are just very guilty
Of things they hadn’t shared

Endings could be calming
Of endings I’m not scared
They’re just anxious because
They’ll witness all that they feared

Endings could be nice
It’s probably not, I lied
I’m not just scared of endings
Truth is, I’m terrified.