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Morgan Jan 2019
I am more than my thoughts
More than the mountains that
Move in my mind.
The ones that shift over time
That wreck me
Pin me down
Until I cannot climb them anymore.
Who lit the fire in my heart?
To stay with you
To never be apart
To mend me to your wellbeing,
To **** me when you're not seeing.
Why do I hurt
Why do I stall
Why do I think I feel nothing at all?
When really I feel everything all at once.
So intensely that I cannot recall
Why we were arguing
And just that you're wrong.
And why did my father have to betray me?
Why did my mother never come to save me?
Why did I wait and never call out—
Why did I hinder and let myself down?
How can such trauma at such a young age
Tear me down and do nothing but degrade
The human I am.
The Human I’ve become.

I am human

But how can I be when I cannot feel safe
Without someone else beside me who stays.
I do love myself and sometimes I feel great
But I need you too for some help along the way.
I'm shuddering now at the thoughts in my head;
The ones who are happy but wishing I were dead.
Who knows me better than I know myself?
But somehow you come back to every thought that I have.
I can never escape this,
I can never replace this.
Jai747 Dec 2018
There are cuts and bruises no one sees.
Hurt between the kisses you give to please.

At first we met your affection seemed so deep.
You overwhelmed me into my love sleep.
Adoration was given to and in return.
You found your saviour, but soon your heart would turn.

I was a white knight on a tall hill.
I was happy & confident, I was never still.
My armour was silver, my helm in gold.
I had even become brave and bold.

You were a Princess in a dark cage.
Little did I know it was made by your rage.
Your past full of monsters and a traitor.
How I would regret not seeing the truth until much later.

I came forward and shone a light on the key.
I told you, that you were brave and strong and to let yourself be free.
Joined together burning bright.
I never knew being with someone else could feel so right.

Our love was passion, a blazing fire.
Any sorrow, I thought, was left on the pyre.
But when love burns bright, a lesson learnt.
The greater a love, the easier it is to get burnt.

When some had been hurt to their very core.
It is true, that love, they can accept no more.
A dark side of your character, you kept all too hidden.
Your deepest heart I was kept out and forbidden.
For how can you truly love without being vulnerable.
Meanwhile my love for you was unassailable.

The first few cuts I knew!
Why would you do this?
Even if it was but a few.
When I raised my voice at what was amiss,
You calmed my doubts and sealed them away with a kiss.

For a while all was fine.
But the cuts came again, one at a time.
It was wrong, it was wrong, this I knew.
But my love for you just kept saying; it is all but a few.
You only hurt me like this, when you felt scared and alone.
All would be fine, I said, as long as you knew I was your own.

Any query or doubt that came to my mind.
You brushed it aside for me never to find.
Cuts came deeper than ever before.
Yet I protected you from all others, even as I became sore.

My friends and family, you pushed them away.
By subtle pressure or by storms a-fray.
Again and again, I was never enough.
So you cut me and bruised me and treated me rough.
Never a mark you left on my clear skin.
But inside you tore me apart until I  became thin.

My armour that you once found so bright.
You pointed out every mark and scratch in sight.
Chip, chip away at my very soul.
Because it was all about you at every toll.

You broke my sword and shattered my shield.
Diminished and weakened you cast me on the field.
The monsters you had ran from, were all inside.
They came out to greet me and wash me away with the tide.

You were like a vast ocean, a passionate storm.
But you were wide and shallow, not deep in form.
I stood and I stood amongst the swell.
But what ever I did it could never end well.

You told me of all the people who had let you down,
But battered and broken I still held up your crown,
But in the end the dark empty place inside,
No love could fill it, no matter how hard I tried.

You walked away- back to your cage, saying it was never right.
But what happened to your fair and wonderful knight.
Laying in his armour broken and battered.
So came forth his friends and his family and everyone who mattered.
They took it all away to heal his heart,
But all they found was ash at the start.

As they held the ash in their hands,
An ember they found in the black sands.
They protected it from wind and the storm.
Hoping against hope that one day their knight would be reborn.

At first the light was still.
Twice it nearly flickered to nil.
But caring patience won the day,
With love and protection a spark lit up the grey.
First once and then twice, before born again a tender flame.
Silently in the darkness they whispered his secret name.
The little flame that was lit,
Still fragile and ready to quit.
But with every passing hour,
Little flame rose taller like a tower.
After countless time as a little light,
It Turned to the stars and shone bright,
A blazing fire lighting up the night.

From the shadowed prison bound,
A dark thing wept without a sound.
The fair knight stood once more on a hill.
A blazing light that stood still.
Through the darkness of its own veil,
The creature sat interned and pale.
Waiting for her new knight,
Or a monster she could blame with spite.
All the while she hid her eyes,
Knowing not to look up into the skies.
For high above stood a knight so bright,
His world no longer a terrible blight.
Surrounded by friends, love and glory.
This is the truth, my life, my story.
Not entirely finished it needs work
Where is your shame,
Great Mother of blame?

The sins of generations are coursing through your vein...
But when all the blood is spilled, there is nothing left to gain.

So where are you going...
Who is left to play your game?

How many more pawns must there be?
Before we can clearly see,
The mistakes that are destined for me.
growingpains Oct 2017
The traits you once considered d e l i c a t  e
Are now traits I should e r a d i c a t e
As you r u i n e d aspects of myself I didn't even know existed
As you brought to the surface
A yearning d e p e n d e n c e
As our soul intertwined,
As your path met with m i n e
I got caught up in the midst
Of the combination of our substance
And in the midst of it a l l ,
I l o s t a sense of myself.
Samara Jul 2017
Don't leave.
I'm tired, I just wanted to lie in bed and know that you're next to me.
You left.
I'm alone, I might as well always be.
The only company is my aching bones and my fractured heart.
I don't know why I was built this way.
Broken from the start, doomed from my first labored breath.
But all I have is this curse,
This constant overwhelming feeling of
a l o n e.
I feel less alone with you.
More alone with them.
But it's always somewhere,
The feeling with claws
Used to climb up my throat
Slice into and manipulate my vocal cords.
"Don't leave."
I'll be fine alone, maybe I should be.
But the feeling's teeth and claws are too deep into my flesh.
I need you.
And the feeling says that you don't need me.
kellie scranton May 2017
We were stuck in a downpour on Locust

Shadowed with good intentions 

Your vices smothered your virtue

They exist on the coastline of your mind
Follow the glow of the neon signs
Turn right when you feel your chest convulse  

Born cursed with impulse

Sanity leaks from the ceiling in your mind

Your gleaming with dishonesty

You curated needle graffiti on my walls
You disappeared liked clockwork

Down every shoddy alley

To fill your lungs with manic choas

Just another suburban stray 

With calico bruises
Trying to find the glamour in its grip




-kellie scranton
Old Friendships &a Doomed Generations
Jessica Dec 2016
Through lonely country back roads we drive alone.
I'm a mess searching for light to guide me to a better home.
Always looking for a better place to hide. Keeping myself in check is something I could never get right.
Forget about the winding road to destinations we long for.
We were never worthy of our own self destructive behavior.
We were never worthy of the happiness we'd promised each other.
In my eyes peace is only found 6 feet under.
Hopeful thoughts will guide me to a better home.
With you by my side at least I won't have to die alone.
Adam Childs Nov 2016
Dog
Daft, scruffy, crazy hair unbounding
Bouncing piece of bursting joy.
Sensless madness going berserk
  but please take me on a journey.
I love you, really love you so very much
I am happy to merrily trot and follow  
the path they all call LOVE.
As you float like a bubbles
perfect pink ballons.
Happy I am to be lead by LOVE

While those ever so precious cats
tip toe the rivers edge cringing at
thought of getting wet.
I just jump jump and jump
While others hold back
make plans control.
I pull pull say lets go live in the unknown.
I say lets play a silly game or two.

I am submissive not controlling
I let go of my ego
as a plastic crown falls of my head
I am filled with love.
Driven by something inside me racing
faster than any wind so let me jump inside
your heart and drag you kicking
into something beautiful.

And even though I really love all my
life so very much frightened that
I will loose it all.
I Silently tentatively sit by the rusty
waters edge as spring flowers blossom.
And wait for the signal
from you too
Love and Love.
To simply let go
to love and love.
As I jump ,jump and jump
Love ,Love and Love.
With a great big
Clumsy Splash
So the whole world can hear.
We let go and go,
dissolving all our ego.

Driven on by a deeper yearning
I love and long, love and long.
As I swim in a river that
has no tomorrow or
yesterday.
As I surrender to you
the great master OH GOD
what ever you wish
of me I will become.
Just throw me a stick
I will truly run do anything.


There are many who
rush away from great pain
I only rush towards joy.
There are those frightened
of getting lost to afraid to let go.
But I even though I melt like softest
butter in the sun. And fall in love
deeper than an ocean.
Expanding outside of the sky
into other greater worlds.
I NEVER GET LOST

For deep inside I cradle myself
cherish, nourish blow kisses in
my heart.
As I am never running away only
running too.
As I am touched by a tender softness
inside I always hold myself.
As I gather myself to make a leap
hold myself to make the jump
as I carry myself through a hoop.
But I never loosing myself always
taking myself with me on the journey
into LOVE.

Much can be gained by listening to
mans best friend his Dog.
As we can all live in a river
paddling, expanding in
a Blissful  LOVE and JOY
Just spent a little more time trying to improve it as I felt it needed a bit of extra attention. exploring a more positive side of codependents
And using the example of our best friend.
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