the day starts with shirley who comes in just after eight for her 20oz chai "what kind of milk?" "doesn't matter" punches her own coffee card tells me about her puppy kayla is next her hair and makeup always perfect about as nice a landlady as one can have in a town like this
from there it's a constant stream of people who i watch out for and who don't know i'm doing it
janice lives alone and thinks people are stealing her money doesn't understand the tests her doctors want she can't remember what she always orders it's a turkey club sandwich no bacon on toasted oatmeal regular chips no pickle a to go box for the leftovers and some kind of chocolate treat in a bag because she only eats when she comes in here
two weeks ago i accidentally switched barb's 12oz soy chai with someone else's 12oz whole milk chai it wasn't enough dairy to give her a problem in fact she didn't seem to remember it but i made her another for free
nic stopped for his afternoon coffee didn't laugh at anything just stared blankly into space and said he thought he was getting sick had too many things to finish the day before when i was waving to him from the parking lot so i took my dog to the back door of his office and we barked until he came out patted us both on the head and said he felt better
we're all creatures of habit like mckenna who arrives like clockwork between one thirty and two tuesday through saturday leans on my bake case while i count my tips and add random ingredients to different drinks in a reckless attempt to break up the monotony and he drinks them all like clockwork no matter how bad they are
rita doesn't smile since she broke her hip in fact i haven't seen her since walt got sick and he and joan moved upstate to be closer to their son i worry about something happening to ray who will take care of rita? whose laugh used to echo off the walls and fill the place up pat's smoking again and it turns out he has congenital heart failure gail had a fall, a stroke and suddenly died
i make the same dumb jokes only a few people smile at i sing to myself and people point it out
karen sits in her motorized wheelchair ice and snow dripping from the wheels onto the scratched, muddy floor and tells me i'm pretty and funny and have a beautiful voice and i look at karen, her head tilted to the side and spit hanging from her buck teeth and wonder why such a wonderful funny girl with a heart of gold had to have the body she's stuck in
why life is **** and why i'm trying i swear i'm trying fighting for something i don't know what
why we fight why we try to make the world a better place when nothing can really change any of these dismal facts
i wish i knew what was wrong with me so i could tell you so i could explain to you why sometimes i dont know how to breathe why sometimes im so overwhelmed by everything going on inside of me that i cant function
i wish i knew how to love you so i could do it so i could explain to you why you deserve the best parts of everyone why you should be as affectionate to yourself as i would be to you
but i cant do these things and in the end, i cant change and ill stay as worthless as i am to you
Perhaps it is time, I return to my roots. Abandoned the topic, never let it bear fruits. I have grown thin, my feet unfit for its boots. But linger no longer, I shall return to my roots.
The clockwork gears begin to spin and words connect. The cobwebs severed, time repairs the neglect. The pieces of the puzzle slowly conjoin, my pencil *****, I write down my lines, my latest project.
You know me as glue or Glueboi if preferred. I know what you think, poems about glue are quite absurd. But the line between glue and my soul has become blurred. Gears are in motion, I've returned to my roots, no need to reword.
My effort is rewarded, the project is complete. A poem about glue that no other poet can beat. A poem which will be welcomed into the halls of the elite. My victory tastes oh so sweet.
My anticipation rises, a chance to share with the world once more. My magnum opus will be shared, my dark world will grow brighter. It spreads its wings and soars.