My heart, already wounded, wants to give out. It cried in pain the night I said goodbye, but harder still the night you kissed me again. It's choking on the blood that keeps me alive, so I think I'll drain it, drip by drip. It's so hard to think of all of these things that I've done, and all those things I did with you. My eyes shrivel up in pain, with no more tears to cry. You made me cry again tonight while I wallow in my guilt.
It hurts so bad to see you like that, so bent up... So unhappy. Because of me.
My heart can't take anymore of my abuse. We were a perfect twosome, tangled in the strings of grief and passion, pain and pleasure.
My heart has been destroyed. I feel the fluids of life slowly leaking out... It gets so hard to say goodbye, but now I know, that my heart is giving up. Giving up on you. Giving up on an "us". I love you. And I hate what you've done to me. But I don't want to leave you here... Alone in the dark. But only I can see the light and I want you to follow me.
So watch me pull myself together with some ***** needles. Watch the blood deep though the spot where your X was drawn and watch me curl up and die. But I'm sorry. Will that ever be enough?
A rant I wrote about my first love. We were both a mess. Suicidal, depressed, and in this relationship for all the wrong reasons. It was so hard when it finally ended. It still hurts to this day.
