I would rather be your Friday night than your Sunday morning
Because I know that you're with me Sunday morning.
I would rather be your Unknown Caller.
I would rather be your
"meet me on the corner" or your
"I wish I could stay"
Because that way I would know where I stand.

But I'm not any of these things.
I am your wife. And I am envious of the one who has your heart while I only have your hand.

Moments pass.
Fleeing into the darkness that is our concept of time.
Fleeting moments.
The passing of time.

I love you, she says.
She speaks with certainty.
A certainty laced with darkness and ice.
A chill against her ribs.
She's not enough.

I need reasons, he says.
He speaks with a need for understanding.
Needing to understand how she could be so cold.
He fears she'll change her mind.

She blinks back the tears.
The words freeze in her throat.
Thousands of hornets in her brain.

He stares at her face.
Wondering what she's thinking.
Something he just can't figure out.

She tries to articulate reasons.
Trying to describe her certainty.

He fights to stay calm.
Surrounded by her destruction.

She believes in logic.
Meanings.
Choices.

He believes in numbers.
Reason.
Fate.

She squeezes her thoughts into simple sentences that she cannot get past her teeth.
Choose your moments.
Choose your meanings.
Nothing is certain unless you choose for it to be certain.
This time she has the easiest choice.
She feels it in her gut.
Deep in her bones.
He is her future.
He is her greatest desire.

She's overthinking.
Searching for pretty words.
Floral sentences.

She will choose him.
Every time she will choose him.
A thousand times over.
Without the blink of an eye.
She will always choose him.

She knows this.
She's made her choice.
She is certain.

She sees her future with him.
Children with dark hair and honey eyes.
Soft grass beneath their bare feet as they dance around in endless summer.
She burns with the desire to take his name.

He didn't leave her.
He decided to stay.
He chose her.

She left a wake of destruction.
A minefield of betrayal.

He stayed out of his love.

She can't imagine someone loving her that much.
Enough to stay through her explosions.
To love her in the wreckage.

She never believed that someone could make her want to breathe.
That someone could make her want to wake up in the morning.

He is her reason for keeping the blood within the confines of her veins.

She knows that he is the one who will stand beside her for always.

She trusts him.
She doesn't show it.
But she's learning.
Trying.
She's fighting for it.

She will learn to let him in.
She will learn to let him truly love her.
She will learn how to be part of a whole.

With him by her side, she can conquer.
They will conquer.
Together.
As one.

He is still waiting.
Patiently.
Waiting for an answer to depart from her lungs.
She loves his patience.
She values his time.

She writes this in silence.
In hopes that he will soon understand her reasons.
Her choices.

She will keep trying.
Until there's nothing left to be said.
Until her vocabulary is exhausted.
She will continue to prove this love she has for him.

He is her home.
He is her future.
The father of her children.
The husband she waits for.

He is her heart

Met you the day I thought I'd die
You cured my ******* January blues
After losing all I had to lose
I called you knowing loneliness poison

Intending to one night stand
You up

Late night mellow rock and
Balcony smokes in ice age Michigan
Bodies moving like snowflakes
Tears melting like liberated ice
My old world fading like a faraway pebble's wakes
My love becoming so loud I couldn't hear a word again

In silence I heard violins
An invisible orchestra playing to
The life I thought I was conducting

Too late did I learn
I was merely another violin
There for you to play
And without you pulling at my heartstrings
I would fall out of tune
And into disrepair

Forgive me,
If my lips
Find others
After you.

Forgive me,
If my mind
Does nothing
But to think of you.

Forgive me,
If I miss
Every single
Thing of you.

Forgive me,
If I hate
The one
Who take you.

Forgive me,
If I still
Love you.

He hurt you with words
He neglected you
He cheated you
I was there
There to mend you
To help pick up your pieces
To listen to everyone word you spoke
And even after that
You are still with him
You will still marry him
I guess he won

Respect me and I shall protect 
you with my life!
Step on me and I double dare
you to NOT be spared!

I have come to a conclusion.
I'm sure everyone will argue with it.
I argued with it at first,
but it's the only thing that makes sense.

I have decided that...

the fault is not at the hands of those who hurt me.
I am the one who cared too much.
I am the one who chose to love the damaged.
I just love too much and too deeply.

I'd truly be a fool if I expected to never be hurt.