my mind is so chaotic.
a mess.
a hurricane of emotions
wreck me
again and again.
time after time.

I feel like I’m losing my mind
and the want to know the time
and the day.
each day bleeds into the next sore.
and
every night blends into the next color.

how can I miss something I never had?
I miss the one called my ‘mother’
but I’d rather slit my own throat than talk to her.

‘do you got..?’
‘can you..?’
It’s always about what I can do,
It’s never how are you.

there’s this box around me.
as time passes,
it becomes smaller and smaller.
It’s purpose being to confine me
to loneliness.
oh how it feels to be the loneliest.

nothing makes me feel anything anymore.
anything different.
It’s just the same.
the same followed by the same,
every waking second I’m reminded of the pain
in my chest.

I hate dreaming.
those dreams just remind me of a different time.
a time where having people who love you
was as easy as telling the time
or finding a rhyme.
now I’m left to wallow
and swallow all I have to say
because no one really understands anyways.
It’s always ‘you could’ve..’ ‘you should’ve..’
It’s never
“I understand.”