I know the joy that keeps us believing
that we all should live a different life
filled with purpose
in a place filled with only a few good men
and if that call comes from the inside
that was once said to me
when I was still watching from the shore
I will be patiently waiting
to be able, despite my fears
despite the waves that are crashing against my ship
to show them, with all that I am
I will always be faithful to the one
that will never stop coming after us.

I will keep coming after Him.

you used to call me every morning,
but you've stopped.
...
now, every morning, i roll over
with your arms wrapped around me
welcoming me home.

{d.f.|08/01/17}

Need to ask a question,
Not afraid of the answer,
But my soul tends to feel,
Not getting it is for the better,

Is there an end to this hell we go through?
I never thought that the one to break me is you,

Surrounded by faith,
Provoked by snakes,
They come pretending to be friends,
When in reality they make you faint,

Just hear my voice and focus on what it says,
Because it never once spoke out in vain,

I can't believe that I'm falling apart,
The ones behind this are closest the most,
I need to know is there an end to heal my mind,
I need to cure this broken thing we call our heart,

It's never too far to feel the hate,
Coming from within it makes it so hard,
And when I close my eyes I see my life.
So just close yours and focus on mine,

We need to know is this worth the fight,
We need to also master this sort of art,

We grieve alone, it's so insane,
I came tonight, looking for a way,
I want out, this is just too much,
I can't withstand, it's just so hard,

We feel a knife through the heart,
We need to die just to feel alive,
Our suffering ends when we fall apart,
If not we go right to the start.

That time when you were calling.
You were talking, I was just listening.
Random thoughts you were saying.
Throughout, we were both laughing.

You said your hands were shaking.
And I asked if you were okay.
You and all of these little things.
So much to tell, words I couldn't say.

I felt a little bad after you hung up.
You said hearing me laugh is enough.
You comforted me same as always.
You'll wait even if it takes days.

Roughly a month from that day,
We planned to do it again.
Three sentences as promised.
And that chance was not missed.

At first I hung up so many times.
You were patient until I got it right,
finally had the courage to say hi.
We never wanted to say good bye.

We called that phone call a date.
We did that for  two weeks straight.
And I guess now we are addicted,
To hearing each other's voice as predicted.

We took it one step at a time.
Now I can't let a day pass by,
Even just to hear you for a while.
I love you and this is one reason why.

Sometimes,
I can hear your heart
calling me
with love and passion,
calling my heart that is so vulnerable;
a heart that is so long
for being loved,
but yet too afraid of
being hurt and betrayed.

Sometimes,
I can hear your heart
calling me
with the love that can make
the earth and the sky
conspire to grow the flowers
on the forgotten garden.

I can hear your heart
calling me.
Clearly.
And the same love and passion
are already vividly here, by the way.
But my vulnerable heart
still doesn't have enough courage
to answer your call...
-Kanya Puspokusumo-